


The press conference

by fairyfions



Category: Larry - Fandom, Medicine - Harry Styles (Song), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Harry, Break Up, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Gay, Gay Character, Harry Styles - Freeform, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, M/M, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Niall Horan - Freeform, OT5 Friendship (One Direction), One Direction Break Up, One Direction Hiatus, Post-One Direction, Post-The X Factor Era, Smut, The X Factor Bungalow, The X Factor Era, Top Louis Tomlinson, X-Factor, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:41:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 23,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21549418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyfions/pseuds/fairyfions
Summary: COMPLETEDHarry is still mad at everything and everyone and just wants to forget about the time he spent in One Direction and the day everything fell apart. But a phone call 5 years later pushes him right back into his old life. Will the band be able to get back together? Will he even recognize Louis after all these years and will the spark between them still be there?You can find this work under the same title (by me, fairyfions) on Wattpad as well.#larry #onedirection #hiatus
Relationships: Eleanor Calder/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Taylor Swift, Kendall Jenner/Harry Styles, Niall Horan/Julia Michaels, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 30
Kudos: 176





	1. You flower, you feast

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely people, this is my first time writing fanfiction and I'm also not a native speaker so please don't be too hard on me (: Lots of love x 
> 
> P.S. I could use someone who wants to proofreads the chapters on spelling and grammar mistakes since I'm not a native speaker!
> 
> P.S.S. My writing gets better after a few chapters, big promise lol :)

Harry, LA (August 2020)

Harry felt numb. Harry had felt numb ever since he walked out of that door almost 5 years ago. Walked away from his life. Away from him. He kind of learnt to deal with the numbness, with that new feeling of emotionlessness that kept creeping through his body. But while he was lying on the couch in his LA home, alone once again, he just felt like pure shit. He felt lonely. There was no better way to put it. He had spent the whole day in the studio to finish off the last few tracks for his second solo album. Everyone he was working with was ecstatic, completely thrilled by the high that came with creating new music, but he felt dead on the inside. He kept staring at his watch throughout the whole day and counted down the minutes until he could go home. It was an evening like every single other one he spent here in LA, he was watching Netflix, drinking wine until he felt too dizzy to care about a single thing in the world and successfully ignoring his phone to the point where most people probably thought that he went missing. He couldn’t care less. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt carefree and happy, even around his family. The hardest part about it was that every time someone asked how he had been ever since that day 5 years ago he had to pretend that he was great, never had been better and oh-so-free. When in reality he felt like he was trapped in a cage, a cage that he had created himself.

**2015**

“Harry, wait! You can’t just run away from me like that!” Louis looked tiny and truly hurt but Harry couldn’t care less, he was fuming.

“Are you fucking kidding me here, Lou? Do you actually agree with them?” He avoided Harry’s gaze, but he could see how sad he was.

“Trust me, love, this is the last thing I want but I don’t think that we’re given a proper choice here. The sooner you start getting used to the idea, the better” said Louis. Harry couldn’t believe his words, was he the only one who wasn’t fine will all of this?

“Lou, how can you be so calm? What even is a fucking Hiatus, what even is that supposed to mean? They want to get rid of us because we’re not doing exactly what they want and that’s their way to do it without being too obvious. They’re ruining our careers right in front of our eyes solely because of our love, that’s so fucked up.” He ran his hands through his brown hair and let out a deep sigh.

“Look love, I hear you but there’s nothing we can do about it now. They’re cruel, it’s been known. But it’s just a break, yeah? I wanted to take some time off for a long time anyways, I’m so overwhelmed with everything that is going on, in so many aspects, I just need to fucking breathe for once.“ Louis’ words hit him like a punch in the face.

“Space? Space from what, me? Are you fucking kidding me here, Lou?” Louis looked like he just wanted to disappear and kept avoiding his gaze and every time Harry’s green eyes failed to meet his blue ones, he died a little more inside.

“Maybe we should just take a step back, all of this is huge. I just feel like I need as much normality in my life as possible at the moment and all this drama that has been going on ever since we started dating just adds to me being overwhelmed, who wouldn’t be? Harry, love, please try to understand me here. I can’t guarantee you that I won’t go insane if we keep everything going as it is now, if you ask me, this Hiatus is the best fucking thing that could have happened to us. We can take some time, get some rest and maybe appreciate all of it more once we decide that it’s time to come back. Please, Harry, look at me?” He felt Louis’ hand touch his cheek, but he was too pissed to even be touched by him right now. He backed away from him and started walking furiously up and down the room.

“This is ridiculous, just ridiculous. I thought we were fine 2 hours ago. The band, our friendship, us? And now all of you want to just rip everything apart, what am I supposed to do? I don’t even wanna take time apart from you, I don’t wanna make music without having you and the others next to me, this is so fucked up.” Louis looked like he was suffering but he didn’t try to touch him again, he just looked to the ground and slightly started shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, Harry, I really am.” Harry’s blood started boiling even more and all he wanted to do was to run, he didn’t know where to but he knew that he wanted to get as much space between this building and himself as possible, so he just did. He was gone so fast that he couldn’t even hear Louis’. Harry didn’t see whether or not he tried to follow him, at this point he was so out of it that he couldn’t focus on anything or anyone anymore.

**2020**

He still remembered the day, the minute it happened. The feeling, the rage he felt, he still remembered it as if it had happened yesterday. He left his life behind that day, his career, his best friends, the love of his life. But for god’s sake, he was just too hurt to go back there, too stubborn. The second he exited the building he knew that it was over, over for One Direction, over for his friendship with Niall, Liam and Zayn and most definitely over for his relationship with Louis. And he was right. How he hated being right sometimes. He hadn’t seen any of them in the last 5 years even though they all reached out in one way or another. He just couldn’t get himself to it, he was still hurt, and he couldn’t imagine the day he wouldn’t be hurt anymore. He avoided everything that was solely related to One Direction or Louis, tabloids, interviews or events at which he could bump into one of them. All of his friends knew that the topic was off limits and he was grateful that none of them wanted to push him back into his old life. He was fine, really, he was. At least, that's what he kept telling himself. He was fine.

Even though he still tried his best to ignore his phone he reached out to it and checked whether someone had texted him. Nothing as usually. But how was he supposed to judge anyone who didn’t want to be around him anymore, to be fair he probably wouldn’t want to be around himself either. The second he put his phone back on the couch table it started ringing. With a concerned look he looked at the screen just to see an unknown number calling him. He was torn between being too suspicious and being curious enough to answer the phone. The curiosity won and he picked up.

Hello, this is Harry. For a second no one answered, and he already thought someone wanted to prank him when he heard someone take a deep breath.

“Hi Harry, this is Niall. “

What the hell?


	2. The summertime and butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi loves, here is the second chapter, I hope you enjoy it. x

“Hi Harry, this is Niall.”

He went pale. This couldn’t be happening. He felt his blood rushing through his body and his skin started to heat up. They both fell silent for a few seconds before he couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“Hello.” There it was again, the silence.

“How are you?” Niall asked him shyly and his blood started to boil again.

“How are you? Are you serious? Cut the crap, Niall. What do you want? How did you even get this number?” Niall fell silent again and he started to feel like a proper twat for speaking like that with him, he was a sweetheart after all. But for now, he just needed answers.

“Look, Harry, I’m really sorry to bother you, I know that you want your space and trust me I thought about calling you for a while before I actually went through with it. But I’m so sick of this. I miss you; I really do. You were my best friend and you ditched me. I thought we were stronger than this and I, I just really miss you. It’s been 5 years since I even heard your voice and it’s been so long that we’ve been friends that I actually started to question whether it really happened.” Wow, that was a lot. A bit too much for Harry’s taste. He tried to collect his thoughts, but the words just wouldn’t form in his head.

“Harry, are you still there?” He heard Niall’s voice that sounded unfamiliarly tense and he just couldn’t leave him hanging any longer.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to say.” It was true, he didn’t mean to be rude, for once, he just didn’t want to say anything that he would regret later.

“Okay good, look take your time, but just know that I’m always just a phone call away and this time I won’t give up, I want our friendship back. You got my number now, call me when you’re ready to talk.” Harry nodded his head looking down.

“Yeah, alright. Uhm, thank you for calling, I guess. Bye, Niall.” Harry hung up before Niall could say another word and as he did, he could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks. He was a wreck. It took him a single phone call and Niall’s voice to totally break down, how could he possibly handle any more than that?

But he just couldn’t deny one thing. He had missed him as well. He used to be his ride or die, he had been there for him through the highs and lows of the band, the drama that used to be his love life with Louis and just life in general. The more he thought about it the shittier he felt because he realized that he wasn’t the only one that lost something the day he walked away from his life. Other people did as well. Niall for an instance. He lost his best friend and he never even thought about whether he was pissed or sad about it. He let his best friend down.

**2010**

“I’m so nervous, man. I don’t wanna let you guys down, you’re all so talented.” Niall looked almost out of breath from being so excited and honestly, he felt the same way.

“Niall, why would you say that? You’re just as good as the rest of us, maybe even better with these blonde hair and that cheeky grin.” Harry pulled him into a crushing hug because fucking hell, he meant it.

“Thanks Harry, just sometimes I feel kinda out of place, as if I don’t deserve being on the X-Factor with you. Maybe they think that they could’ve picked someone better.” He had heard Niall say things like that a few times before and it broke his heart, he was one of the kindest people he had ever met and probably his favorite person in the X-Factor house after Louis.

“Niall, stop that, right now. They don’t think that and even if they do, they’re just stupid, alright? We think you rock and so do our fans, have you checked your twitter lately? It’s blowing up, absolutely mad, I’m telling you.” The smile was creeping back onto Niall’s face and he looked at him with a satisfied grin.

“You’re probably right, thank you Harry, honestly I don’t know what I would do without you. I know that Louis is your best friend but you’re mine.” Harry felt tears in his eyes and if he wasn’t hugging him tightly already, he would probably jump into his arms.

“You’re getting me all emotional here, stop it, lad. But seriously, I love you.”

**2020**

He didn’t know what to do after Niall had called him. He felt paralyzed. He was sitting on his couch, phone still in his hand and he was staring at the wall. He most definitely wouldn’t call him back immediately, but he seriously gave the whole thing a thought. He missed him. He decided to call his mum, calling his mum always sounded like a good idea to him and he knew that she was always the one who gave the best advice. She picked up after only a second.

“Hi munchkin, how are you?” He gulped; how was he supposed to explain to her that he just talked to his best friend for the first time in 5 years.

“Hi mum, it’s me, Harry. Listen, I need to talk to you about something. Niall just called me.”

She fell silent.

“Harry, darling, I know.”


	3. Strawberry lipstick state of mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay save darlings, stay inside if possible and don't lose hope, this virus won't be around for forever x I hope my new chapter brightens your mood somehow x

“Harry, darling, I know.”

Harry fell silent for a second, he needed a second to process everything that had happened, when did his life turn back into a huge mess again. He thought that he had left these times behind him when he left the band but apparently they just came right back.

“Mum, what do you mean you know?” He asked Anne in a snappy tone.

“He called me first, I didn’t wanna be rude so I picked up, don’t blame me for your mess. He’s a good kid, I didn’t wanna leave him hanging.” Ugh, this was all so frustrating, normally he could be sure that his mum was on his side but apparently today not even that worked out for him.

“I know that he’s not a bad person mum, I never said that, I just can’t have him in my life anymore. I changed. He probably has as well. It’s been too long.” Anne sighed at the other side of the phone.

“Harry, I didn’t say anything for the past few years but don’t you think it’s time to put the past behind you and come out of your shell. You’re right, you changed, but honey I’m not sure if you’ve changed for the better.” That hurt. Hearing his own mum say that he changed in a negative way was tough, deep down he knew that he’d become petty and bitter but no one ever had the balls to tell him so he just continued living in his own little world where he wasn’t in the wrong at all.

“Mum, I can’t talk about this with you anymore, I’ll call you tomorrow, alright?” He heard her sigh, but he couldn’t care less at the moment.

“Fine, honey, call me when you need me. You know I’m always there for you. No matter how big you’ll become, you’ll always be my little boy. And don’t be too hard on Niall, as I said he’s a good kid.” Harry hung up the phone and put his head in his hands. How did he get here? He had spent so many weeks, months, almost years to put his past behind him. Sure, he wasn’t always the happiest about it and sure, he missed Niall, but he couldn’t let himself get so vulnerable again, he just couldn’t. But on the other hand, it was Niall, the ray of sunshine, it’s not like he would have to deal with them all at the same time, especially not him. Even the thought of him gave him shivers and not the exciting ones that he used to get in the past. But he could handle Niall, god, everyone could handle Niall, he was an angel. But not today.

Harry woke up with a headache. He felt like he got punched in the face or absolutely smashed, or maybe just both. Lingering around his bed in his boxers he decided that he couldn’t call or face Niall on an empty stomach. When the smell of waffles filled the apartment, he decided that it was time to face his fears and call Niall.

“Allo? Niall here.” Harry took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for what was to come.

“Hi Niall, it’s me again, Harry.”

“HARRY MATE, YES!!!!” Harry couldn’t stop the grin that was creeping on his face.

“Nice to hear ya voice too, Niall. How are you?” 

“Ya know me, always in a good mood. You? What are you up to today?”

“Not much honestly, I’m just cooking some waffles. Wanna come over? I bet you missed my waffles.” 

“Waffles? Fuck yes, I’ll be there in 5.” With that Niall hung up and Harry was left anxious once again. Maybe he took it too far, maybe he wasn’t ready. After all, Niall would remind him of the past and him and he wasn’t sure if he could face that.

Niall didn’t lie when he said that he would be there in 5. What felt like 30 seconds had passed before he was knocking on the door like a madman.

“Haz, it’s me, let me in, I can smell the waffles from here, lad.” Still a little anxious, Harry started grinning and made his way to the door. When he opened it, he saw the grinning Irish man, that looked oddly unfamiliar without his bleach blonde hair.

“Niall, mate, you look so handsome, what happened.” 

“Oi, Harry I was always handsome, just got rid of the slutty hair. I’m a man now.” 

“Yeah, well, I can see that, but honestly, you look amazing.” 

“Thanks lad, you too, I miss the curls though. Why did you cut em?”

“Just needed a fresh start after you know, and I thought if it worked for girls after a breakup maybe I should give it a go as well.” Niall started shifting uncomfortably at that and avoided looking at me.

“We don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want to, or we can if you want to. It’s your call.” 

“Thanks, Nialler, maybe another day.”

“Alright then, just know that I’m here for ya.”

“Thanks, appreciated.” 

The two of them sat on the couch, both with a plate of waffles on their laps and Harry actually felt content for the first time in a while.

“I missed this mate, just like old times, innit?”

“Yes man, feel like I’m 18 again, most days I feel like a grandpa nowadays, me back is killing me, I’m telling ya.”

Harry started laughing out loud, yes, he had really missed Niall, how did he go so long without his best friend? Sure, he had other friends, but no one knew him like Niall, like the others, like he did. Harry was fondly smiling while they smashed their pancakes and he saw that Niall had a fond smile on his lips as well.

“So, tell me Nialler, what have you been up to? How is the job going, got a girlfriend? Or boyfriend, you know, don’t knock it till you tried it.” 

“Haha you wish, still straight as a line, but you would be the first one I would call if I ever discovered my gay side. Both going good, I’m dating Julia now, you know Julia Michaels, we’re writing together, even got a couple of songs together, I really love her, there’s something about her, she inspires me, in the best way possible. I’ll bring her along soon, you’ll like her.” 

Niall grinned like an idiot; gosh the boy was gone. Harry was happy for him though; he knew that he hadn’t always had the best luck with girls and relationships and he never understood why because everyone should be happy to be with someone like Niall.

“You really should, I’ve seen her Interview about how songwriting has to come from the heart and how she always tries to enjoy life to the fullest, she seems like a great person. Have you heard from Liam? Or Zayn? How are they doing?”

Harry knew how obvious he was being by not mentioning his name, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it, he was sure Niall knew how hurt he still was anyways.

“Nah, haven’t talked to both of em in a while, I feel like they’re both going through some getting-to-know-themselves as well, I don’t wanna be the one getting in their way so I’m giving them space, kinda like I did with you. Last thing I’ve heard they were still together though, good for them. They might be going through some shit but at least they have each other.” 

Harry frowned; how did he not know that his friends were struggling? He had been so sure that Liam would just continue to be his bubbly and positive self even after the band broke up and he had never even tried check in on him, or Zayn for that matter. But he wasn’t the only one going through shit then, somehow that helped.

“Yeah at least they got each other, they always were best when together.”

“Yes mate, but you got me back now so all good here as well. Hey, how about a jam session? Got any guitars here?”

“I’m not sure Ni, I haven’t played in ages or sung for that matter. I kinda had to get away from it all.”

“Then it’s time to get back into it mate, you were born to perform and you know it.” 

Harry sighed, he lowkey knew that Niall was right but he was scared of all the emotions that he had bottled up and kept hidden during all those years, he knew that making music always used to be the one thing that got him in touch with his feelings. But he also knew that he loved it and that he couldn’t hide behind this barrier forever, so he agreed. He went to get his old guitars that sure as hell were out of tune but still looked as beautiful as ever. Niall waited for him on the couch, grinning like a child on Christmas day.

“Yes man, like the old days. Watcha wanna play first? How about Stockholm Syndrome? Always loved that one.” 

“Sure thing.”

When he heard the first note it came all rushing back to him.


	4. Kids in the kitchen listen to dance hall

When he heard the first note it came all rushing back to him.

**2015**

He was gone. And Harry knew that it was final. They were done. The band was done, and Harry was so so so done as well. Harry thought that he knew what heartbreak was, what sadness was. But he was wrong. He was living through it right now and nothing could help him. He noticed that his mum came over, James came over at some point, but it was as if he didn’t even notice that they were there. He didn’t even know if he was still there or not. And the worst thing was that their songs were a constant reminder of the pain, wherever he went he heard the memories that he tried to forget. Whether it was the supermarket, the bakery or the fucking radio. After a while he just started staying at home, in complete silence, ordering take out while pitying himself. He hated his life. He really did. He was never one to pity himself but right now he did. He really did hate his life.

In this moment he decided that he never wanted to hear one of their songs ever again, never wanted to hear the words One Direction or one of his band mates’ names ever again. He was done with it and he needed to move on. In order to cut ties with him he needed to cut ties with everything that he associated him with, otherwise it wouldn’t work.

He called his mum and told her that she had to take care of it, he couldn’t face management or anyone else, she needed to explain everything to everyone, that he never wanted to talk to any of them ever again, that he didn’t care if they sued him or not, that he was done. He wanted to start over, start a new life, a sad one but a new one.

**2020**

Hearing Niall play one of their songs brought it all back. The emptiness he had felt during the first few days, the rage he had felt every time he heard one of their songs, he couldn’t stand it. He was aware that Niall was looking at him oddly, but he couldn’t pretend, Niall probably wouldn’t buy any of his excuses anyway.

“Harry, what is wrong?” 

“I’m sorry, I just. I kinda let go of everything after it all went down, I wanted to get as far away from the memories as possible, I haven’t listened to one of our songs in ages. S’ just a lot I suppose. I’m sorry.” 

“Mate you don’t have to apologize; I get it okay. I maybe didn’t go through it, but I can imagine how you feel right now. Do you wanna talk about it?”

Before Harry could answer, both of their phones started ringing. Harry looked at Niall and immediately knew that shit was about to go down. Niall looked him in the eyes and picked up.

“Hello?”

“Sure.” 

Niall’s face went a bit pale.

“Excuse me?”

“Are you serious?” 

He looked at Harry and Harry knew that something was up. Niall had a worried look on his face and the lad basically never worried about anything.

“Sure, I will be there.” 

He hung up and breathed out slowly.

“Fuck.”

Harry got more concerned by the second. Niall was avoiding his look and was playing with his hands.

"Haz, stay calm okay.”

“What the fuck, Niall? You’re starting to scare me, mate. Just spit it out, alright?”

“They want us at Syco, both of us, in half an hour, they’re sending a car to pick us up.” 

Harry felt like he was falling. Out of the sudden he had trouble breathing and he clinged to Niall's shoulder as if his life depended on it. He couldn’t. There was no way that he was going back there when he barely could hear one of their old songs. He couldn’t face them and he sure as hell could not face him.

Oh god, the realization hit him like a prick. He had to see him again. Even the thought of him took his breath away, how could he face him? He couldn’t do it; it was too much.

“Haz breathe, I know this is a lot but I got you, we’ll get through this, together, okay? You don’t have to talk to anyone, I’ll do the talking, you don’t even have to look at them, or him. Okay? But I need you to breath, deep breaths, okay mate?”

Some gibberish came out of Harry's mouth and his grip on Niall’s shoulder softened, this wasn’t the end of the world, he would be fine. It would suck, that was obvious, but he would be fine.

“M’ sorry, just lost it for a second, I’m good. Yeah, you’re right. Thanks mate. I’ll be fine.” 

Harry had lost the feeling for time because the next thing he heard was the ringing doorbell.

It was time for him to face his past.


	5. I’ll make this feel like home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope y'all are okay, stay healthy and stay safe during these weird times, sending love your way! x

It was time for him to face his past. 

The ride to Syco was silent. He saw that Niall was constantly looking at him with a worried look on his face and he hated it, he was anxious enough already. He didn’t even know why he wasn’t full on panicking at the moment, over the past few years the mere thought of anything One Direction related sent goosebumps down his spine, and not the good kind of goosebumps. It was as if something inside of him had changed, he was ready to face his inner demons, he was ready to face his past.

He wasn’t sure if he was ready to face him though.

“Nialler, do you reckon it’ll be only the two of us?” He asked Niall, knowing how obvious it was that he was indirectly asking whether Niall thought that he would be there or not.

“To be honest I don’t think so, I reckon they called the rest as well. How are you feeling bout that?”

“Better than expected. We’ll see. There’s not much that I could do right now, innit?”

“I’ll be by your side, H, big promise. I know we haven’t been close over the past few years but for me nothing has changed, you can count on me.” Harry sighed, he felt like shit for ignoring Niall over the past few years, the boy had a heart of gold, how anyone could be this nice was beyond him.

“Thanks bud, same for you, and I’m sorry for you know, for uhm..for ignoring you and stuff, wasn’t personal you know, I just had to deal with my shit first. Just took me a while.” 

“I get it, no grudges, promise.” 

They arrived at Syco and Harry felt sick. How did he think that this was going to be alright a few minutes ago, holy fucking shit, he couldn’t do this. Niall nudged his shoulder and motioned him to take a deep breath. Okay, breathe in, breathe out, he could do this. He was strong, he wasn’t the insecure boy anymore that would hide behind his older friends every time Syco pushed him around like a little puppy.

They entered and he could literally feel the air around him tighten, it felt just like old times. They were led to a room on the second floor and he had to remind himself to breathe normally when they knocked on the door. They entered and Harry could feel the air leave his body.

There he was.

He wasn’t looking at him yet, but he could see his light brown hair from behind and his heart started aching. Liam and Zayn turned around and smiled excitedly at them. He remembered Niall’s words that they both went through some shit at the moment as well and he tried his best to smile back at them. Simon Cowell coughed but Harry only stared back at him with a blank expression. This man had put him through hell and back since he was 16 years old and yet Harry was in his office once again, he felt like a little boy.

“Perfect, you’re all here. So, I’ll get straight to the point. I want a reunion.” 

Louis, who Harry had almost forgotten about for a moment (but only almost) let out a strangled noise and Harry once again felt the air leave his lungs.

A reunion. A fucking reunion.

“You’ll record a new album, starting next week. We’ll have plenty of promo to do and then there will be a tour starting approximately in October, any questions?” Harry saw that Liam was raising his hand to ask a question, but Harry tuned out and missed what he was saying. He couldn’t breathe, he had to get out of there as fast as possible. He stood up, not caring about the confused looks everyone was giving him and he stumbled his way outside. Once he left the room he started running, he didn’t know where he was running but he knew that he had to get away. Away from Simon Cowell, away from him and away from his own emotions. It was just all too much.

“Harry, wait!” Harry froze, he would recognize this voice amongst thousands.

When he turned around, he looked into blue eyes.


	6. Kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi girls and gays, how are we today? Where do all of you come from? I would love to know x

When he turned around, he looked into blue eyes.

His world stopped for a second. He looked into his eyes and his world just stopped. He didn’t remember them to be so blue, so beautiful. But it wasn’t just his eyes, he looked at him and it took his breath away. He didn’t care what other people thought but for him he was the most beautiful human being he had ever seen, then and now. Harry couldn’t even answer him, he was just staring at him, unable to breathe or talk.

After a few seconds he got his shit together and forced himself to nod.

“Louis.” 

Louis flinched when he said his name, but he didn’t break their eye contact.

“Are you alright? You seemed pretty upset in there.” Harry snorted and looked to the ground.

“That’s an understatement and you know it. Shit’s fucked up.” 

“Yeah probably.” 

“Not probably, most definitely.” 

Silence. The silence hung upon them like a dark cloud and Harry knew that there was nothing he could or wanted to say to brighten the mood. Once his common sense returned, he also felt the feeling of anger return that he had felt ever since he and Louis went their separate ways.

“You must hate this, weren’t you the one who was thrilled when they announced the hiatus.” 

“Is that what you kept telling yourself over the past few years? Do you actually believe that?” 

“I don’t know Louis, you tell me. Seemed like it back then, but you know what, I don’t have time to talk about bullshit from the past, this day has been shitty enough.” Harry left Louis standing by himself even though he could see the hurt expression in his blue eyes.

“Fine, run away, like you did last time! You can’t run away from your problems forever, H.” Harry's heart clenched when he heard Louis call him that, but he wouldn’t give in and apologize, he knew that he was in the right here and he wanted to keep his pride, thank you very much.

He ran around the nearest corner and stopped there to take a breath and to call his mum. She picked up after a few seconds.

“Harry, darling, are you alright? I haven’t heard from you since you and Niall talked, is everything alright?” 

“Mum, shit is fucked up, you wouldn’t even believe me.” 

“Harry, language! But what’s wrong? You can tell me, munchkin.” 

“Guess where I am? I’m at Syco, Niall was at my place when Simon called us all in for a meeting, they were all there mum. Everyone. He wants to do a reunion, starting shortly. It’s fucking ridiculous.” 

“Excuse me? You’re joking, right?”

“I wish mum, I fucking wish. I can’t do this, oh god.” Harry started having trouble breathing and he felt like the panic that had been rising inside of him over the past few hours needed to be released, otherwise he would break.

“Harry, baby, breathe okay? I need you to breathe for me, in and out, alright? You can do this, baby.” Harry started breathing in the same pattern as his mother, but it just got worse and worse. He sat down on the ground, but the panic just wouldn’t go away. Is that what having a heart attack felt like? Just when everything around him started getting blurry he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“God, Haz, what’s wrong? Breathe for me baby, okay?” Harry looked into these blue eyes and in this moment, he wasn’t angry anymore, all he wanted to do was to get lost in the blue of Louis’ eyes and he could feel himself calming down. When he was able to breathe normally again, he let himself fall into Louis’ arms and Louis grabbed him as if his life depended on it. He could smell Louis’ cologne and that scent that was so typically Louis that it reminded him of home. He felt a few tears rolling down his cheeks, but he couldn’t help it.

“Oh god baby, you scared me.” He could feel Louis patting his hair and drawing circles on his back and it hurt how good and normal it felt.

“Can you get up? I parked nearby, I can take you home, if you want to.” 

“Yeah, that would be nice, thanks Lou.” They walked to Louis’ car in silence and he could only hear his own heartbeat.

“Where do you live? Or you could come with me to my place for a while, I live close by, I’ll make you a cuppa, do you still like Yorkshire tea?” It probably wasn’t a good idea and Harry knew that, but he also wanted to feel that comfort that he missed so much over the past few years.

“Sure.” He even tried to give Louis a weak smile and before getting into the car.

Louis wasn’t lying when he said that he lived close by, they arrived a few minutes later and Harry was stunned by the size of the house Louis nowadays lived in.

“You’ve got all that to yourself? That’s massive.” 

“Uhm well, you know, not exactly to myself.” Harry saw a brunette walk out of the front door and out of the sudden he forgot how to breathe again.

Stood in the driveway was Eleanor.


	7. Just me, her and the moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi loves, I hope y'all are doing okay, how are ya feeling today? Fiona x

Stood in the driveway was Eleanor.

Harry was fuming, this had to be a joke, a really bad one. He had always hated Eleanor, always. When she was first introduced to be Louis’ beard, Harry knew that this girl was up to no good. The touches were too long, and the glances were too intense to just be friendly. And there in front of him stood the proof that he had been right all along.

“Are you fucking kidding me, please tell me that you’re kidding me. For fucks sake.” Harry got out of the car and started running down the road, once again without a direction.

“Haz wait, I can explain this.” He saw Louis running after him, but he couldn’t care less, he was fuming.

“Fuck off Lou, I can’t think of a plausible explanation for this, just leave me the fuck alone, like you did the last few years.” 

Louis started laughing hysterically.

“If I recall it correctly you were the one leaving me and disappearing from one day to the other, so don’t play the victim here, yeah? You can’t even imagine how fucking lonely I was when you left. The band fell apart, you were gone, and I had nowhere to go, I don’t think I had ever felt this low in my life before and I couldn’t even reach you, you fucking dickhead. She was there when you weren’t, I won’t apologize for that.” 

Harry didn’t want to listen to any of Louis’ shit and just stared at him angrily.

“I always knew that she was after you, when did it start, huh? After we broke up or before? I always had a feeling, but I brushed it off, didn’t wanna come across like the possessive boyfriend ya know, but I always knew that something was up.”

**2012**

Harry had just arrived back at the hotel after going for a run around the neighborhood of the hotel in Nashville and he was dripping in sweat. He knew that the boys, Pez and Eleanor (yikes) had stayed in to watch a movie or whatever but he needed a break from them and decided to go for a run. He loved his boys like brothers and Perrie was lovely as well, but Eleanor had to be the most annoying person he had ever met. Everything she did pissed him off, everything. Every time she touched Louis or laughed about one of his bad jokes, Harry felt as if someone had poured ice cold water over his head. And the thing he hated the most was that Louis didn’t seem to notice how awful she was, it almost seemed as if they got closer every day. Harry had asked Louis countless times what the hell this thing between him and Eleanor was, because if it was up to Harry, the two of them would spend as little time together as possible, but Louis always brushed it off and told Harry that they were only really good friends. Good friends, sure Jen. Harry had learned to shut his mouth when it came to this topic because Louis got mad and Harry felt like a little bitch afterwards. But the nagging feeling just wouldn’t go away.

When Harry entered his and Louis hotel room, he already heard that annoying giggle that seemed to come out of Eleanor every time Louis said literally anything. Harry saw red.

“What is this then?” 

Harry found them together on the couch, watching some movie and Eleanor's feet were resting in Louis’ lap, of fucking course.

“Hi baby, how was your run?” 

Louis looked as unbothered as always and didn’t seem to see a problem in how Eleanor’s feet were resting in his lap.

“I’m fine.” 

Harry had had enough; he always kept his mouth shut but something about the scene triggered him. He stomped into the bathroom and shut the door. He tried to catch his breath, but nothing seemed to work, not even the hot water that was pouring down on him once he stepped into the shower.

After the shower, mood still gloomy, Harry stepped into the room where a pissed Louis was waiting for him. Eleanor was gone, bummer.

“What the fuck was that?” spat Louis at him angrily.

“Why is she always here? Always! Can’t she hang out with Perrie or do whatever shallow girls that age do? Her contract doesn’t force her to spend every waking minute with you, do you even realize how she looks at you?” he screamed at Louis, getting more worked up with every word.

“Give it a fucking rest Harry, you’re delusional, we’re good friends and you should fucking deal with it!”

“I’m delusional? Grow up Louis, people have ulterior motives and she definitely has one as well and that’s to get with you and get me out of the way.” he fired back and at this point his face was all red from screaming at Louis.

“I love you, more than you know, but this fucking jealousness with drive me away at some point because I’m fucking done with it!”

Louis left Harry standing in the middle of the room and stormed out, probably to go spend some more time with Eleanor.

Harry had messed up, again.

**2020**

All the anger he had bottled up then and now was rushing through his body and for a second he considered punching Louis in his annoyingly beautiful face.

“Okay, let’s just calm down and talk about this like two civilized people, okay? We don’t have to fight over the same fucking thing over and over again, we’ve done that enough I reckon.” said Louis with a defeated look on his face.

“Speak for yourself, I’m done with your bullshit.” 

Harry turned around and left Louis standing there, which felt painfully familiar but if he learned anything over the past few years, it was that he was done playing nice in situations that hurt him.

“Hey loser, get in.” he heard someone shout at him and when he turned around, he saw Liam, Zayn and Niall all sticking their heads out of Niall’s car.

“What? How did you..?”

“We kinda figured that you left with Louis so we thought we would come and pick you up in case you needed it and guess what, looks like you need a ride home.” Liam said and gave him a small smile.

“Alright, let’s get the fuck out of here then.” said Harry while he jumped into the car.

“So, I reckon you’ve seen Eleanor?”


	8. Crystal clear on a starlit night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hi, yes hi, how are you? How is the quarantine going? I moved back in with my dad after not living with him for 6 years and I LOVE IT. What are your favorite things to do during quarantine to keep you occupied? x

“So, I reckon you’ve seen Eleanor?”

“You fucking knew?” Harry snapped, because what the fuck. They knew. And from what it looked like they weren’t even as disturbed as he was, as disturbed as they should be because ew.

“You know he was gutted when you left, loneliness can bring people together.” said Liam as if it was a logical explanation for the betrayal Harry felt. They drove in silence for a second because he was actually too speechless to even answer to that. Were they right? Did he provoke that himself?

“I get that it sucks mate, but would you be as pissed if it was anyone else? If it was another man? And sorry but why exactly are you acting like a jealous girlfriend in the first place, you guys broke up ages ago and you were the one who called it quits and left him hanging.” mumbled Zayn and it hurt Harry that he actually had a point. He always struggled with Eleanor even existing and he also struggled with the fact that Louis wasn’t gay like him. He knew how uncalled for his internal biphobia was, but he couldn’t control it. And yes, why was he reacting the way he was? He hated Louis, remember? Was he just pissed that Louis managed to move on when he couldn’t? He hadn’t had a single date since Louis and him broke up, not one, he hadn’t even touched another man, let alone have sex. He was frustrated and it showed.

“Fuck off, you’re right.” muttered Harry and the three other blokes chuckled at that.

“Let’s not talk about Louis for a second and try to enjoy the day for old times’ sake, we’re about to spend a shit ton of time together again, let’s catch up.” said Niall with lit up eyes.

“Hell yes, we can play Fifa and eat popcorn at my place, just like back in the day.” suggested Liam excitedly.

“Our place, love.” said Zayn with a smirk on his face.

Oh boy, Harry had forgotten that Niall had told him that the two of them were still a thing and from what he heard it sounded like it wasn’t just a bro pals experimenting thing like back in the day but an actual relationship nowadays. And he was beyond thrilled for them.

“Sounds like a plan.” sighed Harry happily, actually forgetting about Louis and Eleanor for a second.

They arrived at a pretty place not too far from Louis’ mansion and Harry immediately felt at home. He could see that Zayn had took it upon him to decorate the place because the wall was full of interesting art pieces that basically screamed Zayn.

“It’s beautiful, how long have you lived here?” asked Harry with a curious look on his face because his friends were right, they had a lot to catch up on.

“Bout a year now, ever since my mum kicked me out.” mumbled Zayn.

“What? What the hell, why did she kick you out?” 

“She found out about Liam and me and yeah, she didn’t take it well, you know religion and stuff.” sighed Zayn with a sad expression on his face. Harry felt a rush of compassion for his former best friend because he knew how much Zayn loved his family. But that also explained why Niall said that the two of them were going through some shit themselves.

“It’s alright you know, it actually made me realize how important Liam was to me and that it was more than just a fling, I moved in with him and yeah we’re happy you know, right?” he looked at Liam with a hopeful look on his face and Liam smiled brighter than the sun.

“Yes.” He kissed Zayn’s temple and it was the first time in a few days that Harry actually felt proper happiness because if two people deserved to find happiness and love it was the two of them. He knew how much they had struggled to admit their feelings and to admit that they were in fact not straight and it looked like it had finally worked out, even if it took them 10 years.

“I’m happy for you guys, and for you as well Niall, how is Julia doing? Have you told her about the reunion yet?” 

“Yeah, ringed her afterwards, she thinks it’s an amazing idea, she knows how much I missed you dickheads and spending time with ya.” beamed Niall and Harry could tell that he was serious, and he had to admit that deep down he has missed them and the high of being in arguably one of the biggest boy bands of all time as well.

“Ya know, I missed it as well, I was shocked at first, but it was inevitable anyways and the more I think about it, the better it sounds.” Liam admitted and Zayn nodded his head besides him.

“Maybe you’re right.” said Harry with a small smile and the other three beamed at him as if he just told them that he expected his first child.

“So, you calmed down a bit? Because I actually thought about inviting Louis over as well, we shouldn’t exclude him just because you guys can’t work your shit out.” Niall said and Harry was actually shocked at how straight-forward he was being, guess he had grown up.

“If you insist.” Harry grumbled because he didn’t want to be a little bitch about this, and he knew that he couldn’t avoid him forever.

Louis arrived only 10 minutes later with a worried look on his face and he kept glancing at Harry as if he wanted to say something but didn’t have to balls to actually say it.

Harry tried to ignore it at first but sighed and turned towards Louis.

“Truce? I don’t wanna make this any harder as it already is and the shit you do in your free time shouldn’t be any of my concern, so truce?”

He saw Louis breathing out a sigh of relief, smiling timidly at him.

“I would love that.” 

They smiled at each other for a second and Harry couldn’t ignore the way his heart was aching.

“So, boys, how about we loosen up a bit and play a drinking game, it’s time to break the tension and there’s no better way to do that than with a bit of booze and a round of Truth or Drink” said Niall. 

Before anyone could say anything, he was on his way to the kitchen to get a few bottles of liquor.

Oh boy, Harry wasn’t sure if he was ready for the truth just yet.


	9. I’ve seen it in your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely people, my first attempts on writing what goes into the direction of smut, please excuse my lesbian ass lol x

Oh boy, Harry wasn’t sure if he was ready for the truth just yet.

Niall plopped down next to Liam and Zayn and grinned like a maniac.

“Let’s go boys.”

Harry felt like he was back in the X-Factor house again, 16 years old and horny as hell.

**2010**

“How about we play a round of Truth or Dare, lads?” Niall beamed at us with a bottle of vodka in his hand.

“Fine”, everyone grumbled even though none of us was as ecstatic about the idea as Niall was.

“Who wants to go first, Haz, how bout you?”

“Sure”, Harry gulped and looked into his hands, he wasn’t ready for this.

“Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.” 

“Have you ever kissed a boy?”

The room fell absolutely silent and Harry gulped visibly. He felt the gaze of the other boys on him and especially Louis was looking at him with an intense and curious stare.

“You know, well...”, Harry was fidgeting in his spot where he was sitting in and could basically feel his blush as his cheeks started heating up.

“Spit it out!” Niall basically straddled him and before he could start tickling him Harry gave in and muttered a quiet “Yes.” 

The room fell silent once again and Harry’s cheeks couldn’t possibly get any hotter.

“That’s cool mate”, said Zayn and gave him a genuine smile.

Liam and Niall nodded in agreement and Harry felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. The only one who didn’t really react was Louis who continued to just stare at Harry which made him unbelievably uncomfortable.

“You alright there, Lou?” asked Niall with a smirk on his lips, “why ya looking so hot and bothered?”

Now it was Louis’ turn to violently blush and he let out an awkward cough.

“Nothing, nothing, s’cool Haz, totally cool, splendid”, he reassured Harry but Harry still felt shitty, would that change anything between them? Why was Louis reacting that way?

“Alright Lou, truth or dare?” asked Niall and Louis went back to normal with a cocky grin appearing on his lips.

“Dare my friend, I am the KING of dares”, he assured the others and rubbed his hands excitedly.

“Sweet, I dare you to snog Harry for 2 minutes.”

There it was again, the silence. Niall still had a smug grin on his face and after a second Zayn began to mimic his expression.

“I, uh, are you serious? I mean, yeah, Harry is that cool?” stuttered Louis with a face that resembled a tomato at the moment.

Harry was absolutely dumbfounded, he was on the verge of tears because he was sure that everyone could tell that he had the crush of the century on his straight best friend after that. But to chicken out would be just as suspicious so he shrugged his shaking shoulders already staring at Louis’ pink lips.

Harry felt Louis shifting next to him and before he knew it Louis was sat on his lap, basically straddling him.

Holy mother of Jesus, this was what heaven must feel like.

Louis was looking into his eyes for a moment and Harry’s heart was aching, how could anyone be this beautiful? He was so gone and he knew that there was no going back at this point.

“Relax love”, whispered Louis so only Harry could hear him and Harry sighed and took a deep breath. Before he knew it, he felt Louis lips crashing down on his.

Fireworks. Fucking fireworks.

Harry had never experienced a feeling like this, ever in his life. It felt like his insides were on fire, in the best way possible. He felt Louis’s lips move against his and gave in, if he wanted the control Harry would happily give it to him, to be honest there wasn’t much that Harry wouldn’t give to Louis in this moment.

When he felt Louis sliding his tongue into his mouth he realized that him being gone for Louis wasn’t his only problem. He felt the heat moving from his cheeks down his body and his dick hardening. And from the sounds Louis was making it was obvious that he felt Harry’s dick too. Harry wasn’t sure which feeling prevailed at the moment, the embarrassment from Louis knowing that he made him hard or the pure arousal he felt every time Louis moved his tongue against him. Before the feeling of embarrassment could overpower the feeling of arousal he felt something poking his hip and when he realized that it was Louis’ hard dick he couldn’t help the moan that was escaping his lips. Louis responded with a moan himself and started tucking on his hair. It took Harry all of his willpower to not grind against the other boy to finally get some friction.

“Okay, 2 minutes are up, calm down guys”, said a really disturbed looking Liam while Niall and Zayn looked at them with a grin that could easily eat up their whole face.

“I’m not gonna lie, that was hot”, said Zayn and Harry caught him glancing at Liam for a second.

Harry tried to avoid Louis’ eyes while he got off Harry and returned to his previous spot but he could feel his eyes hotly on his skin.

Jesus Christ, Harry never felt that horny and or in love in his life.

**2020**

“Okay Harry, let’s start with you, have ya got your shot ready? Yeah? Alright, why did you ignore all of us after we went on Hiatus?”


	10. Take it as a compliment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My story has now 1000 hits and I'm not gonna lie, I'm really proud hihi, thanks for that!  
> I actually really like that chapter myself so I hope you'll enjoy it just as much.  
> Btw for everyone who is sad today that Harry's European tour got rescheduled, I feel you, we're in this together, sending love your way x

“Okay Harry, let’s start with you, have ya got your shot ready? Yeah? Alright, why did you ignore all of us after we went on Hiatus?” 

Harry was shifting uncomfortably in his seat and tried to avoid the glances the others were throwing at him. He knew that he couldn’t chicken out of this question and just take the shot, everyone including himself genuinely wanted to know the answer.

He started playing with the hem of his shirt while trying to gather his thoughts, he wanted to be honest but he also didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, not even Louis’.

“First of all, I wanna say that I’m sorry, I really am. I shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on all of you when you were never the problem. I was the problem and yeah maybe Syco but let’s forget about these dicks for a moment, right?” 

Niall chuckled and toasted into his direction.

“I guess I was so focused on One Direction, so thrilled to make it work, that it completely ate me up while we were still in the band. So, when Syco suggested the Hiatus I fell into this hole of not knowing who I was outside of One Direction, I knew that I had to become someone and make my own decisions for the first time in 5 years and I was so scared. I was scared that people would realize that I wasn’t actually worth their time and that I would end up alone, because I didn’t know whether I would survive being alone and facing myself and my thoughts. All of this just got worse when we actually started the Hiatus, I had nothing to do, I realized that I didn’t even have a hobby that I actually enjoyed, I didn’t have any friends that I didn’t know through One Direction and so I decided to become my own human being, someone worth more than just a brand name. I was severely depressed for a while until I decided to cut ties with everything and everyone. I took some time 'cause I've ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I'm supposed to be. I moved back in with my mum and like started finding things that I actually enjoyed doing and yeah, I’m sorry that I pushed you away along the way. It was never your fault”, Harry ended his little monologue and he felt a tear running down his face. When he looked up, he saw that the others had tears in their eyes as well. Niall was basically full on sobbing at this point.

“I’m so sorry that you felt that way and that we didn’t see it, you could’ve talked to us”, Niall said sniffling and patted Harry’s shoulder awkwardly.

“The thing is that I didn’t know it back then, I didn’t know how much I held myself back. I didn’t know who I was, but I do now.”

“I get the feeling of only functioning for the job, you know, I felt that way too. I also felt like everyone just liked me because of One Direction as a brand, I felt so invisible”, sighed Liam and put his head on Zayn’s shoulder. Zayn absently started petting his hair and Liam visibly relaxed into his touch.

Louis was awfully quiet during all of this but Harry tried to push the thought away, it wasn’t his business anymore anyways.

After they all calmed down and dried their tears it was Louis’ turn to play.

“Haz, how bout you ask something?” suggested Niall and Harry loved and hated him for it.

“Uhm, yeah sure, uhm let me think of something.” 

Harry was full on panicking inside. He didn’t want to make it too obvious how hurt he still was but he did have some questions he needed an answer to or he couldn’t find peace with the whole situation. He sighed and decided that if he wanted to heal, he had to start the process himself. Meaning no more running from his issues.

“When and why did you get with Eleanor?”

Dead silence. Just like 10 years ago.

Harry could see Louis gulp visibly and the other three were looking as if they had been caught being loud in class.

“Uhm, alright, not getting around this one, right?” Louis joked and Harry knew that he was trying to lighten up the mood like he always did but this was serious, not only for him but for the sake of the band.

When Louis realized that joking wouldn’t get him anywhere, he sighed and took a deep breath.

“So, after you left I kinda fell into a hole as well. I think we all did. And I couldn’t leave the house for like a month, I didn’t talk to anyone, not even my family and I completely lost my mind but just kept going. One day I went to the supermarket hoping that I wouldn’t see anyone so I wouldn’t have to explain what the fuck was going on with me. I was so scared that someone would ask about you, because I was sure that I would break if I heard anyone say your name, ya know. And in the supermarket I bumped into El and at first I was like shit she’ll ask questions and shit but she didn’t, she pretended as if nothing was wrong and made jokes about like the fact that they raised the prizes for broccoli and I don’t know after a month of being caught in my hole I felt sort of alive again for the first time. She asked if I wanted to hang out sometime and I said yes because I knew that I didn’t have to explain anything to her and that she wouldn’t ask any questions. The first year and a half we were just mates hanging out an awful lot because I didn’t really talk to any of my other friends or my family because I knew that they would ask about the band and you and I swear to god, I didn’t even think about hooking up with her. I also never thought about hooking up with her while she was my beard by the way, if that helps. Then one night in 2017 we went out and got really, really drunk and I don’t know it just kinda happened. We were spending most of our time together anyways and yeah we just added that part and never stopped doing it. Yeah, uhm, that’s it.”

Louis had looked at his hands, avoiding Harry's eyes during his entire speech but Harry could still see the tears in his eyes. And he felt the tears in his own eyes as well.

Harry had asked himself over and over again over the past few years whether Louis had moved on, fell in love with someone new and hearing everything from Louis himself almost broke his heart but Harry knew how Louis looked like when he was in love, crazy madly deeply in love and that wasn’t it.

In this moment Harry knew that there was hope. He knew that he wanted Louis back and not Eleanor nor his inner demons would keep him from that. It was time to come up with a plan, but he knew that the first step was to become friends with Louis again. Just like last time.

“I forgive you.”


	11. Put a price on emotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I hope you're having a great day x What are your favorite things to do during quarantine? I need inspirations!

It had been one week since the boys played Truth or Drink and Harry officially “forgave” Louis and to be honest, Harry hadn’t felt that happy in a long time. The boys met up almost every day to get food, hang out or talk about the album. They all agreed that if they made a new album it had to be as transparent and raw as possible, they didn’t want to create another chart topper, they couldn’t care less for numbers whatsoever, they wanted to create something that was 100% them.

It was almost creepy how easy it had been for Harry and Louis to fall back into their old habits of being best friends and partners in crime. Harry was sure that he would have abs in no time from laughing about Louis’ stupid jokes and pranks that he pulled on poor Liam. Harry hadn’t realized how much he had missed all of it, not just Louis but the band, the other boys, everything really. He felt like he had a purpose again and he loved it.

Today was officially the first day back in the studio and Harry was buzzing, but not only him, he could see from Niall’s giddy face that he was just as excited as he was and the other three looked thrilled as well. They all brought their little notebooks and word documents full of ideas and were ready to get back into it.

“Boys, pleasure having you back in here”, beamed Julian their songwriter, “it’s been ages, Jesus Christ, you lot got even more handsome, that’s not fair to the rest of us.” 

Harry and the other boys broke out into laughter and hugged Julian.

“We missed you as well man”, said a happy Louis.

“Alright, let’s get straight into it and talk music, what direction, haha pun intended, are we thinking?” asked Julian and looked at them expectantly.

“We all gathered some ideas, it’ll be hard to like find a common ground since we all branched out a little bit musically but uhm yeah I guess we could settle for like Indie Rock, if that works for Liam and Zayn as well?” explained Harry slowly and looked over at his two friends. He knew that they didn’t share the passion for Indie Rock that him, Louis and Niall had but they probably still preferred it over the bubblegum pop that the band was doing back in the day.

“Do we have to stick to one genre though? I mean if Zayn and Liam want to do some RnB and HipHop tracks they should be able to do that. That’s why there were tensions in the band the last time, because we didn’t get to do what we wanted and I wouldn’t want them to go through that again”, said a concerned looking Louis and Harry’s heart melted some more. He knew that he had always been gone for Louis but today was even worse than usual. He looked at him and his heart did that little backflip thingy every time he touched his feathery brown hair or his blue eyes sparkled, for fucks sake why would anyone be this beautiful?

“Works for me, what are you thinking boys?” said Julian and Niall, Liam and Zayn were nodding, Harry was too caught up staring at Louis and his beautiful tanned skin to even realize that he had been addressed directly.

“Harry, stop staring at Louis and concentrate”, said a smug looking Zayn and Harry’s cheeks heated up. Great, he felt like he was 16 years old with a massive crush all over again.

At least he saw that Louis was furiously blushing as well, which made it at least a little bit less embarrassing for him.

They were one hour into writing and Harry knew that this would be way harder than he had expected. It wasn’t as prominent when they just hung out that they hadn’t seen each other in ages but when it came to writing it couldn’t have been more obvious. They really weren’t the boys Harry used to know anymore, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Zayn and Liam had gotten better at speaking up and expressing their opinion whereas Louis had stopped overdoing that exact thing. Niall probably had improved most when it came to songwriting, Harry never know how talented he was when it came to writing and lyrics and it was sad thinking about how his talent was wasted almost completely during the One Direction days.

They obviously had to rethink everything they knew about writing within a group and adapt to how they felt and how they had grown but he was certain that if they did, they could create something magical.

“I wrote something a while ago, if you don’t mind I would like to play it for you, if you don’t like it nevermind, I just yeah, wanted to share it really”, said a blushing Louis and Harry could practically feel how tense he was.

Louis started playing and Harry knew that he was fucked.

Oh, I can't believe I gave into the pressure

When they said a love like this would never last

So I cut you off 'cause I didn't know no better

Now I realise

Yeah, I realise

We were too young

To know we had everythin'

Too young

I wish I could've seen it all along

I'm sorry that I hurt you, darling

Harry couldn’t control his tears anymore by the time the second chorus came around and he felt the others not only stare at Louis but stare at him as well. When Louis was done playing, he looked Harry directly in the eyes.

“I wrote that for you.”


	12. We’re just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry it's been a few days but I wrote more this time, I hope you like it! I already have an idea for the next chapter hehe x 
> 
> Btw, I'm leaving out Fizzy's death (RIP angel) and Freddie for everyone who is wondering xxx
> 
> Lots of love x

“I wrote that for you.”

Harry had trouble breathing, Louis had killed him, that was the only logical explanation. His soft vocals, the way he looked at Harry with tears in his eyes and the lyrics that hit a bit too close to home. Louis had killed him.

Harry didn’t know how and if he was expected to answer, he just sat there, staring at Louis, unable to breathe, talk or function like a human being.

After an uncomfortable moment of silence, Louis got the hint that Harry probably wouldn’t answer him anytime soon so he coughed lowly.

“I wrote that a while ago, 2017 maybe, it helped me to like get over it and stuff”, said Louis and Harry’s heart went from aching of love to aching of pain.

Louis was over him, great. That was just splendid.

“S’ a good song, congrats”, said Harry not letting his sadness and hurt surface.

Louis looked at him with irritation is his eyes.

“Thanks, I guess”, he said looking down.

The awkwardness was lingering in the air for 30 more minutes before Niall cracked a joke and everyone slowly went back to normal. They had an album to write after all. Harry was surprised that at the end of the day they actually managed to build the frame for 4 songs that legitimately sounded like something he would turn up if he heard it on the radio.

Harry just wanted to leave when he heard tiny footsteps approach him.

“Hey Haz, wait up”, said a heavy breathing Louis, “Jesus Christ, you’re walking way too fast. Damn your long legs, unbelievable.”

Harry let out a chuckle and tried to push down the feeling of hurt that he had felt ever since Louis said that he was over him.

“A blessing and a curse, it’s been known. Can I help ya with anything?”

Louis blushed a little and smiled up at him shyly:

“Do ya wanna, ya know, hang out or something?”

Now it was Harry’s turn to blush and he nodded with a small smile.

“I would love that, we can go to mine and play Fifa or something, I can cook, I bet you still can’t cook for shit”, said Harry giggling and nudged Louis.

“Oi, do I have to remind you of my excellent chicken wrapped in ham, you loved that!”

“That I did”, said Harry with a happy smile on his lips.

A little while later the two arrived at Harry’s apartment, he realized that Louis had never been at his new place and he felt like a teenager inviting their crush over for the first time.

“S’ a sick apartment, H, you always had a knack for interior design, looks beautiful”, said Louis and Harry basically glowed under his praise.

“Thanks, just brings me joy you know, picking out colour combinations and art and stuff, I really got into everything artsy when I like tried to find meself ya know.”

“I can see that, I’m glad you found something that brings you joy”, said Louis and it sounded so genuine that Harry immediately relaxed. Sometimes he forgot how easy it was to talk to Louis. When he wasn’t heartbroken or horny because of him.

“Sooo, what do you wanna eat? I could make Pasta with that vegan sauce that I’ve grown quite fond of”, said Harry excitedly. He had decided that he could might as well have a nice evening with Louis and actually try to make the best out of it, without any ulterior motives. He missed having a best friend.

“Vegan? Okay sis, why don’t we have a kale smoothie afterwards?” Harry had missed the sass and burst into laughter just to pout at Louis immediately afterwards.

“Heeeey, kale smoothies aren’t too bad. You won’t be 28 forever, Loulou”, said Harry teasingly.

“You little shit, what do you wanna say? That I’m old?” Louis ran towards him and attacked him with tickles. Harry was gasping for air, trying to get away from Louis but he had a firm grip on his hip.

“LOU, STOP THAT, I’M GONNA WEE MYSELF”, screamed Harry but Louis only tickled him harder.

When Harry finally got a grip of Louis’ hands and held them safely before his face, Louis’ eyes met his.

Fireworks. Again.

Harry stared into Louis’ blue eyes and could feel himself get lost. When he realized that Louis was staring at him as well he started squirming under the attention and let out a shaky breath.

“Alright, how bout that vegan pasta?”

Louis snapped out of it and chuckled nervously.

“Sure, just don’t poison me and if I see an avocado in there, I’m out of here.”

Harry let out another bark of laughter and started cooking.

They sat down in the living room to eat and Harry considered whether he should light a candle or not, “calm the fuck down this isn’t a date”, he told himself and decided against it. He didn’t want to scare Louis away by being pushy, he did that once and wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

“So, tell me about your newfound hobbies young Harold, are you an arts and crafts man now?”

“I wish, my artistic abilities are limited to awful doodling, nah I got really into fashion, I don’t know if you’ve heard but I started working with Gucci and like uhm I’m really good friends with Alessandro Michele and sometimes help him with like his work and I also model for them, I love it”, said Harry proudly and went up to get his Gucci campaigns to show them to Louis.

“Jesus Christ, that’s amazing, I mean it’s obvious that you’re breathtakingly beautiful but wow that looks professional, H. I’m proud of you”, said Louis and looked at him with fond eyes.

Harry was furiously blushing. Louis thought that he was breathtakingly beautiful? Still?

“Thanks. And uhm, you don’t look too bad yourself, haven’t aged a day, it’s actually scary. Looking twinkier than ever.”

“Twinkier isn’t a word Harry, but thanks”, said Louis smiling brightly.

Harry nodded in satisfaction, so Louis still liked being called a twink, interesting.

“What about you, any new hobbies?”

“Still really into footy, I played for Doncaster for a while, absolutely loved it, my ankles didn’t love it as much so I stopped after a while. I spent a lot of time with my family, I don’t know if you’ve heard about my mum and stuff, so I moved back home for a while to be there for the girls when mum passed”, said Louis with a sad expression his face.

Harry felt awful, he had heard about Jay passing away and it was the only time in 5 years where he actually didn’t think about himself first and considered contacting Louis.

“I heard of it, I am so sorry that I didn’t get in touch with you. I feel awful, I was selfish. I’m sorry.”

Louis rubbed his thumb over Harry’s hand and smiled at him reassuringly.

“I get it, I was angry at the time but I do get it now, especially after what you’ve said during Truth or Drink.”

They were silent for a second but Harry knew that Louis wasn’t holding any grudges and maybe it was time for him to let go of his grudges as well.

“I bet your sisters loved having you around all the time, oh gosh they must be so big by now, do you have pictures?”

Louis was beaming, as always when anyone showed real interest in his family, it was obvious that they were still the most important thing for him. And it was adorable.

“Sure!”

“So, Lottie basically still looks the same if you ignore the fact that she’s changing her hair colour on a daily basis, Daisy and Phoebe look like little models nowadays, it’s ridiculous, I mean look at them”, said Louis excitedly.

For a second, Harry thought that Louis was messing with him, no way that the girls in the pictures were the same little girls that used to cuddle Harry and force him to read stories to them.

“Shut the front door, that’s not them, holy chicken, they’re all grown up.”

Louis chuckled, “I know right, they ask about you all the time by the way, how is Harry, what is Harry doing, how do Harry’s hair look and so on, they still have the biggest crush on you.”

“What is it with the Tomlinsons being obsessed with me, you lot are weird”, said Harry teasingly.

“It’s the curls, they’re enchanting”, whistled Louis and smiled brightly at him.

“Curls get the girls, it’s been known, so, how about a round of Fifa?”

“Only if you’re ready to get destroyed young Harold, but yes bring it on”, said Louis and ran towards the couch patting to the spot next to him.

Harry was watching him with a fond expression and thought to himself that he could get used to this again.

They were two games in and Louis was DESTROYING him, it was embarrassing really, but oh well. Louis had just made another remarkable goal and Harry had enough. He tackled Louis who was squeaking on the ground.

“You could’ve at least tried to let me win once, you know that I’m fragile!”

“In your dreams Harold”, shouted a giddy Louis.

This time it was Harry who started tickling Louis and Louis absolutely lost it. But from one second to the other it was as if the air around them changed. Harry caught Louis’ blue eyes again and this time he didn’t look away, neither did Louis.

“I missed your eyes”, whispered Harry before he closed the distance between them and placed a sweet kiss on Louis’ lips.

Fireworks.

Louis only took action after at least 20 seconds when he shoved Harry from him and brushed a hand through his hair with a stressed expression on his face.

“Oh god we shouldn’t have done that, I need to go.”

And with that he left Harry behind on the floor still panting after their kiss.


	13. Drown myself in a bottle of her perfume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi people x  
> I hope you like that chapter, I have so many plans for the chapter that are still to come, I'm so excited hihi  
> Please leave kudos and comments if you like the story so far, there's much more to come :)  
> Fiona x

Harry had recovered from the Louis incident even though he still got the shivers every time he thought about Louis’ lips on his. He felt like he was a teenager again, getting all giddy and excited every time his mind wandered to the kiss.

Harry was well aware that Louis was avoiding him but he expected that, Louis had always been extremely loyal and kissing someone else while being in a relationship was probably driving him insane. He guessed that Louis hadn’t told any of the lads or Eleanor since no one asked him anything about it. It was probably better that way, Harry didn’t want to be a cheater either and even though he didn’t like El, he still didn’t want to think too much about what he did to her. She probably felt the same way about Louis as he did and the thought of Louis kissing someone else nearly killed him.

Harry’s phone buzzed and he saw that Niall was calling him.

“Hey mate, El and Lou invited all of us over for dinner at their place tonight, can ya make it?”

Harry gulped, he hadn’t seen Louis since they kissed because they had a break from writing and he wasn’t sure how he felt about seeing him again. But on the other hand, he really missed him. He was scared to face Eleanor again after all those years but he had to get it over with because it could most definitely not be avoided.

“Sure thing, I’ll be there, what time?”

“Around 7, see ya Haz,” said an excited Niall and Harry could hear his giddy smile through the phone.

Harry pulled up to Louis’ house and was once again reminded of how big of a mansion it was, sometimes he forgot how much fucking money they had made and still made due to One Direction’s success, it was ridiculous.

He rung the bell and Liam opened the door.

“Great Haz, you made it, come in, you’re the last.”

“Uhm, okay”, mumbled Harry and stepped through the door.

He saw a giddy looking Niall lingering on the couch, next to him was Zayn who looked flawless as always. Louis was standing next to them and looked at Harry with rosy cheeks, he could see that he was trying his best to seem normal but was failing miserably, at least Harry thought so. And there she was, having her manicured fingers on Louis shoulder.

Eleanor.

She looked more thin and fake than the last time he saw her but he couldn’t deny that she looked stunning, even though he was gay he could still appreciate that she was outstandingly pretty.

To his surprise she had a warm smile on her face.

“Harry, it’s been ages, come here!”

She rushed to hug him and Harry tensed up, had she forgotten that he was her boyfriend's ex? Probably not, but Harry was a kind person so he decided to be equally as nice to her as she was to him.

“Hey El, yeah, you look good, how are ya?”

Eleanor looked as if she was puffing out a sigh of relief and smiled at him even wider.

“I’m good, thanks for asking. So, how about we start with the dinner. I made spring rolls as a starter, I hope that you lot all like that.”

“Hell yeah”, said an excited Niall and Harry just chuckled because some things would just never change.

Harry had to admit that the food was great and they had a nice conversation going, Eleanor was telling about her social media work and the boys told some stories from the Hiatus. Harry couldn’t really follow the conversation though because he was busy staring at Louis who looked even prettier tonight than he usually did. For fucks sake.

He caught Harry staring a few times when he himself wanted to catch a glimpse of Harry and blushed every time like a schoolboy with a crush. It was ridiculous.

“Can I use the bathroom?”, asked Harry politely and very much directed towards Eleanor and not Louis.

“Sure, hun, it’s...”, was all that Eleanor could say before Louis interrupted her.

“I’ll show you, it’s a bit hard to find”, said Louis with a determined look on his face.

Harry couldn’t even answer him and just followed Louis up the stairs.

He panicked when Louis followed him into the bathroom and locked the door behind them.

“Can you please stop staring at me when El sits next to me, it makes me uncomfortable, I should’ve never kissed you, I’m sorry but you need to forget about that, okay?”

Louis looked stressed and Harry was hurt.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t stop thinking about it, I can’t help it”, said Harry with that hurt expression on his face that Louis couldn’t take.

“Me neither”, mumbled Louis before he looked directly into Harry’s eyes.

“You have gotten even more beautiful, how is that even possible?”

Harry now felt Louis’ breath on his face and he gulped, what was he doing?

Louis stared at him for a few more seconds before he closed the distance between them.

“Fucking shit”, mumbled Louis breathlessly while kissing Harry.

The kiss immediately turned heated and soon he could feel Louis’ tongue against his own. He let out a deep groan and pressed Louis’ little body against his. Harry was embarrassed at how hard he was already but when he felt that Louis was just as hard as he was it turned him on even more. He felt Louis grinding his hips against him during kisses to get some friction and they both let out low moans. Harry would probably come in his pants if Louis kept going like that, but to be honest he didn’t care.

“Jesus, you’re so hot, I would fuck you right here”, said Louis and the words went straight to Harry’s dick.

“Do it then”, said Harry breathlessly and he really hoped that Louis would do just that.

But then Louis broke their kiss and looked at him with flustered cheeks.

“That never happened”, and with that Louis was out of the bathroom.


	14. I live for you, I long for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii lovely people, I just planned out the following chapters till the end and let me tell ya, you're in it for a rollercoaster of feelings hihi x
> 
> Also how obvious is it that I'm in love with Julia Michaels haha x
> 
> Brownie points for everyone who gets the Wild Child reference!
> 
> Pls leave kudos and comments xxxx

It had been one week since Louis basically dry humped Harry during a dinner party that him and his girlfriend, emphasis on girlfriend, had thrown. And let’s just say Harry literally had trouble keeping it in his pants.

Louis still pretended as if nothing had ever happened while they were in the studio and it seemed like he still hadn’t told anyone about what had happened now thrice between him and Harry. Harry was frustrated and incredibly horny, every time he saw Louis and his massive ass wobbling around the studio, he felt himself get hard and he was beyond embarrassed about all of it. By now someone must have noticed that he went to the toilet for 15 minutes probably 4 times a day, what were they thinking he did in there?

On Friday Simon Cowell himself came into the studio and the air around them immediately froze, how Harry hated the bastard.

“Boys, you’ll have your first interview tomorrow, they’ll announce the reunion first and then have you for an interview, James Corden is in town so we’ll let him do it, I don’t know if you’ve watched the last Late Late London, but it’s gonna be basically like that. I hope you haven’t forgotten your media training”, he said looking first at Louis and Harry and then at Liam and Zayn.

With these words he left the studio again without wishing them luck or even asking about the progress they had been making in the studio. Knobhead.

It was Saturday and the boys were all seated on comfy chairs in front off illuminated mirrors with Lou Teasdale running around them like a headless chicken.

“What’s up Lou, not used to it anymore, huh?”, laughed Niall and mimicked her stressed expression.

“Not funny Horan, and when the fuck did you decide to not dye your hair anymore?”

Niall looked slightly hurt mumbling, “Me girlfriend likes it, she says it looks fluffy and mature.”

Everyone in the room slightly chuckled at that, knowing that Julia had Niall absolutely whipped. As if she knew that they were talking about her Julia came through the door, hugging Niall from behind.

“Hiiii everyone, how are you? Y’all look cute, super cute. Nervous?”, she asked them with a happy smile on her face. Harry saw why Niall fell in love with her, he would too if he was straight, she was pretty, kind, funny, humble and just a ray of sunshine.

Niall kissed Julia with a beaming smile on his face and Harry felt stabbing jealousy, he wanted to kiss Louis like that again as well. Ugh, a man can dream.

They heard James’ voice from where they were standing behind the stage.

“And now to an announcement that might be more surprising than the fall of the Berlin Wall. I think I made it quite clear who my favorite boyband of all time is by now, right?”

Harry heard the crowd cheering loudly and scattered shouts of One Direction, sudden pride came over him, how he had missed this.

“Right”, shouted James, “One Direction, the love of my and I’m pretty sure your life as well, most of the time I’m not sure if I should love them because they are such adorable and talented boys or hate them because they are such adorable and talented boys.”

Chuckles could be heard from the studio and Harry saw someone motioning for them to get ready to get on stage. Harry was sweating like crazy, holy jizzle, it was happening.

“But oh well”, continued James, “most of the days I just love them to death and I’m sure you do too. So when I got a call from Simon Cowell yesterday evening I obviously almost sh*t my pants”, the studio erupted in laughter and so did James, “not in the bad way, I know he can be frightening but no that wasn’t the reason this time. Good old Simon called me to ask for a favor.”

The studio went absolutely silent and Harry could basically feel the anticipation.

He was like “James, you beautiful beautiful man, would you do me the honour to announce something?”, and obviously I said yes, that’s just the way that I am. Then he went “Will you read out the following?”, Harry couldn’t see James but he took a break and the audience was still silent as a mouse. Even he shivered and he was well aware of what the announcement was.

“One Direction end their hiatus and return as a band.”

As soon as James had said the words the studio erupted in screams and applause, Harry felt as if his eardrums might burst but he couldn’t help the happy grin that was spreading on his face. James waited for the audience to calm down which felt like an eternity.

“And you know what? That’s not the only good news I have for you, we have them here for their first live interview since being back together as a band, give it up for ONE DIRECTION.”

They walked on stage and the audience completely lost it, Harry was certain that the internet was breaking as they were speaking as well. The power of boybands, wild.

He glanced over at the others and all four of them looked equally overjoyed as him, his eyes lingered on Louis a little longer, taking in his beautiful features and the crinkles by his eyes as he smiled widely, oh gosh he was so gone for this man.

“My lovely, lovely boys, it’s so good to have you back on my couch as a band again, I could hug every single one of you right now. “

“Do it then”, shouted Niall and was the first one to jump on James’ lap. Zayn and Liam followed and then Louis sat down on James’ lap and patted his head, Harry saw red. He knew that he had always been overly jealous, but Harry just couldn’t stand when Louis touched other people or other people touched Louis, he wasn’t possessive but yes maybe he was. A little bit. James saw his tense face and looked confused for a second before a smirk erupted on his face, he always had the sixth sense when it came to Harry and Louis. Harry remembered that he was one of the first one’s who had caught up on their relationship during the X-Factor.

For fucks sake, he knew what was coming next, James loved playing with them and their jealousy and by the smirk on his face, that was exactly what he was planning on doing just now.

When they were all on the sofa again James looked directly at Harry.

“So young Harold, no hug from you? Would you prefer one from someone else? I could give Kendall a call, or maybe you wanna go back even further? Taylor? How are you feeling about her nowadays?”

Harry gulped and saw that James was now looking directly at Louis and Louis didn’t seem happy in the slightest, Harry was lowkey loving it.

“Bring it on James”, joked Harry, earning a few chuckles from the audience and a really, really angry look from Louis, oh boy.

The interview continued and Harry was aware that Louis was raging at this point, he kept throwing angry glances at James and Harry and didn’t bother to answer one question, way to be professional Lou.

After a few questions that were mostly answered by Liam, as always, Harry risked looking over at Louis who was already staring at him. He was mouthing a word at him that Harry recognized as mine. When Harry understood what Louis was mouthing at him, he blushed with wide eyes making Louis break out in a smirk. Oh god, Harry knew in which direction this would be heading. Instead of being snappy and insecure about fake girlfriends like him, Louis always liked to mark his territory and fuck Harry so hard that night that he wouldn’t forget who he belonged to. Back then Louis also had that mischievous smirk on his face and the smirk alone made Harry half hard.

They continued their interview with Harry and Louis basically eyefucking and the situation in Harry’s pants got more and more uncomfortable. He was amazed at how oblivious their 3 friends must be because they either were good actors and ignored the scenario or they really just didn’t see what was going on.

The second the interview was done, Harry and Louis were basically sprinting backstage, making sure no one saw them. Louis pushed Harry into a bathroom and had his lips on his before he even locked the door.

“You little shit, you enjoyed that, didn’t you?”, asked Louis with a deep voice and dark eyes, “Like a little slut but guess what, they’ll never have you because they can’t give you what I give you.”

Harry felt as if he entered heaven, his dick was rock hard and he was pressed against Louis, panting as if he had just ran a marathon.

“I promise I’m only a slut for you, I promise”, whined Harry.

“I’ll show you exactly who you belong to”, threatened Louis while dropping on his knees.

Harry was sure that he was seeing stars at this point, this boy would be the death of him, he was certain about that.

Louis tucked his pants down roughly and pampered his thighs with kisses. Harry was ready to explode then and there considering that he didn’t have sex in like five years and this was Louis, his Louis, down on his knees in front of him.

Harry let out a strangled moan when Louis licked up a stripe and then took everything in without teasing him first.

He was in heaven, or maybe hell, who fucking knew?

Louis obviously didn’t want to waste any time and took him in deeper, Harry really had to pull himself together or he would immediately come at the sensation he felt with Louis’ lips around his dick.

“Jesus”, Harry moaned and he knew that not even Jesus could help him with what was happening right there.

Harry could feel his tip touch the back of Louis’ throat and he couldn’t help but thrust into him, chasing his release. Fucking lord.

“Lou, m’ close”, whined Harry breathlessly and shot his load down Louis’ throat who swallowed every single drop, looking extremely satisfied with himself.

“I’m the only one who gets to touch you, got that now?”

And with these words Louis left the bathroom, leaving Harry behind panting once again.

What the fuck just happened?

It took Harry at least 15 minutes to get his shit back together before he could leave the bathroom. Everyone else had already left without him so he called a cab to get home. Back at home he decided to log into his old Twitter account to see how their fan base reacted to their reunion.

The second he logged into Twitter he was confronted with thousands of pictures, edited or not, that showed him and Louis staring at each other and even now he could see the sexual tension between them, for fucks sake. He was afraid to check them but he went to the worldwide trends section and gasped when he saw that Larry was once again trending worldwide.

He knew that shit had just gotten real.


	15. I’m selfish I know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo everyone x
> 
> I should be writing my dissertation that's called Translation of advertisements into German- the influence of the polite form in Barbie advertisements targeting young girls lol (and yes I am writing my diss about Barbie and I love it) but oh well, writing fanfic is more fun xx
> 
> Pls leave kudos and comments for my hopeless, probably not graduating because of it ass haha x

“It’s been one interview, ONE”, shouted a very angry looking Simon Cowell directly into Louis’ and Harry’s face, “are you even aware of the damage that you’ve already caused, I could just punch you in the face right now.”

“Come on, do it then, would fucking finally give us a reason to ditch that shithole of a management”, sassed Louis right back at him.

“I’m sorry but what is even happening, I don’t see a problem, the interview went by smoothly, didn’t it?”, asked a really confused looking Niall.

“Have you not checked Twitter kid, has any of you?”

Niall shook his head and Liam, Zayn and Louis alongside with him, great only Harry had seen the Larry damage on Twitter then.

“Twitter is full of that Larry bullshit, can you two not keep it in your pants for an hour, it’s disgusting”, shouted Simon and Harry could feel some drops of his spit on his face, yikes.

“What?”, laughed Niall, obviously oblivious, “they’re not together anymore, haven’t been for 5 years, you must be seeing ghosts.”

“Right”, said Harry and could basically feel the heat creeping up his cheeks, he had always been an horrible actor. He looked to his far right and saw that Louis looked equally as uncomfortable as him but at least he didn’t blush.

“Yeah, stop with the bullshit, you can’t still be giving them a hard time for being together when they’re not even together anymore”, sighed a pissed off Zayn. Harry knew that the topic hit close to home for him since he and Liam got the same restrictions in the past and now, only that they had always been way better at hiding their relationship than Louis and him.

“I don’t believe any of your bullshit, just know that I have my eyes on you and if I see anything like that again there will be drastic consequences, understand me?”, said Simon with a dangerously low voice and Harry instantly got the shivers. He hated how he still responded to Simon’s threats like a little schoolboy.

They all nodded with their heads down, feeling defeated once again.

“Fine, your album is coming out tomorrow night at midnight, I expect you to do some promo on Twitter and Instagram or so help me god I will take over you accounts once again,” threatened Simon and with that he was out of the door.

“Fucking hell”, muttered Louis with a defeated look on his face.

“Agreed”, said Liam and patted Louis’ head, knowing that the boy was fighting back tears. Louis had always taken it worst when Simon had one of his outbursts, he looked up to him after all. Harry wished that he could finally open his eyes, showing him that Simon was a mean bastard who didn’t deserve Louis’ admiration.

“You are just friends though, right?”, asked Niall, eying them suspiciously.

“Obviously”, said Louis while nervously looking around the room, gosh he was horrible at this.

Harry had just left Syco and was on his way to his car when he once again heard tiny footsteps approaching.

“Are you alright, Haz?”, asked a slightly panting Louis.

“I would be much better if you wouldn’t suck my dick one day and then pretend like nothing happened the other day Louis”, said Harry angrily, because he had had enough. At first, he thought that the secrecy was exciting, and he knew that he wasn’t ready to face all the problems they would most definitely have to face once they decided to tell people, but now he was just pissed.

“I’m so sorry Haz, I promise I don’t wanna mess with you or anyone else for that matter, I tried to stay away from you and all but for fucks sake, do you know how hard it is to see you every day? I miss you, not just like you know having sex and stuff, even though I reaaally miss that but just you, you’re wonderful, always have been and you make me feel so alive when I’m with you”, confessed Louis and stared at the ground, hands fidgeting.

Harry felt a lump in his throat and put his fingers under Louis’ chin so the man had to look him directly in the eyes.

“I feel the same way, Lou”, said Harry with a cheesy smile on his face, do you maybe wanna like hang out tomorrow night, “we could wait for the album to drop together, for old times sake? We don’t have to do anything, I promise.”

“I would love that”, said Louis with a happy smile.

Harry heard the doorbell and his already racing heart made another dangerous jump, he would probably die tonight but oh well. He opened the door and Louis stood in front of him, wearing a sweater that was too big on him and comfy looking sweatpants, he looked like a tiny ass hedgehog and Harry absolutely loved it.

“Hi, wanna come in?”, asked Harry nervously and Louis just chuckled.

“Wasn’t planning on staying outside Haz, thank you very much”, sassed Louis and Harry giggled like a schoolgirl, so embarrassing.

“We can play some Fifa if you want to”, asked Harry hopefully.

“Sure thing, you know I love me a game of Fifa”, said Louis running towards the couch.

They played and talked for a while before Harry realized that it was 11:58 PM already.

“For fucks sake Lou, it’s almost midnight, we gotta tweet something or Simon will kill us”, giggled Harry, hiding his face in the crouch of Louis’ neck.

“Go grab our phones then”, said an also giggling Louis, “come on, faster Haz, run a little bit, bring these long legs to a use.”

“How about _Our first album after getting together as a band drops at midnight and we’re beyond excited, go stream it on all platforms. All the love x_?”, asked Harry looking at Louis to see his reaction.

Louis just nodded and typed with a concentrated expression on his face, Harry almost forgot to hit send being too caught up with staring at Louis.

They both managed to tweet before the clock struck midnight and were now eyeing the One Direction hashtag. As soon as the album was officially out the tweets came rushing through just like back in the day. Harry almost teared up seeing that the fandoms’ support was still bloody strong. He looked over at Louis reading through the tweets with dangerously wet eyes as well.

He looked up at Harry with a happy smile on his face and glassy eyes.

“Can you believe that? I was so afraid that they had all forgotten about us.”

“How could anyone forget about you, Lou?”, asked Harry while studying Louis’ beautiful face.

The ocean blue eyes, the light brown hair that looked as feathery as ever, the cheekbones, everything. Everything about Louis was beautiful and Harry knew in this moment that he could never feel this way about anyone else besides Louis, and he was okay with that. He was okay with spending the rest of his life loving Louis, even though it wasn’t reciprocated, he didn’t care.

“You are so beautiful”, said Louis while staring at Harry’s face with the same fond expression. It took Harry a second to realize what Louis had said because he had been to caught up with staring at the boy that he had almost missed the movement of his lips.

“Can I kiss you?”, This time Harry asked for permission, making sure that this was something that Louis really wanted.

“Please”, whined Louis and already moved his face closer to Harry’s.

When their lips connected, Harry knew that he had been right, he would spend the rest of his life loving Louis, if he wanted to or not.

Their kiss was slow at first, full of love, at least that was what Harry was hoping for.

“You are the one who is beautiful”, said Harry after breaking their kiss, “you are so beautiful and you don’t even know it.”

Louis didn’t give him an answer but leaned back in to connect their lips once again. This time the kiss felt more heated, Harry felt the lust that came with it and it went straight to his dick. They continued kissing and Louis slid his tongue into Harry’s mouth, both moaned lowly and Harry was sure that he had never felt pleasure like that, he was ready to give his all to Louis right then and there.

He felt Louis little hands fumbling with the rim of his t-shirt and pulled it off himself roughly.

“Can I take yours off as well?”, asked Harry because he knew that Louis was self-conscious and he didn’t want to do anything that made him uncomfortable.

“Please, now”, whined Louis and held onto Harry’s hips with an even firmer grip.

Once they had both taken their shirts of, Louis connected their lips again, biting into Harry’s bottom lip, making him growl in pleasure.

“I know you said that we didn’t have to do anything but for the love of god if we don’t do anything right about now I’m gonna lose my shit”, panted Louis while digging his nails into Harry’s back. Harry only moaned in response and put his hands under Louis’ butt to carry him up the stairs into the bedroom.

“I want you to fuck me, understood?”, asked Harry and grabbed Louis a little firmer.

“Lay down and take your pants off”, instructed Louis while taking his own clothes off without looking away from Harry. Harry could see that Louis had some new tattoos and he was almost too distracted with looking at Louis to actually take his clothes off.

Louis stared at him taking his clothes off with the same intensity.

“You are stunning, maybe even more stunning now, Jesus.”

Harry laid on the bed with spread legs, waiting for Louis to do literally anything.

“I have lube and condoms in the top drawer”, said Harry squirming on the bed in anticipation. He heard Louis open the lid of the lube and close it again.

“I’m gonna open you up, you need to tell me when it hurts sweetheart”, whispered Louis into Harry’s hair while putting kisses there.

Harry nodded, unable to answer regarding the state that he was currently in.

He felt Louis’ fingers near his rim and even that slight touch made him moan lowly. Harry clenched his eyes when he felt Louis put in one finger bit by bit, it really had been a while.

“You’re doing so good and you’re looking even better laying there for me like that”, whispered Louis to distract Harry from the slight pain.

As soon as he had adjusted, the pain was replaced by sheer pleasure. Harry begged Louis to add another finger. He was a moaning mess by the time Louis added a third finger.

“Jesus Louis, hurry up, I want you inside of me”, cursed Harry with the pleasure all written over his face.

“Eager, aren’t we?”, asked a smirking Louis. He then brushed over Harry’s prostate and Harry forgot about everything and everyone for a second. He let out a strangled shout and pushed down on Louis’ fingers even further.

“Jesus, I can’t wait any longer”, said Louis and grabbed the condom from the bedside table.

Harry heard the tear of the wrapping and felt Louis line himself up. Harry was so worked up that he tried to push himself onto Louis without any success.

“Can’t wait for my cock, can you love?”

And with that Louis was inside him, he worked himself in bit by bit and Harry would be lying if he said that it didn’t hurt at first but as soon as Louis bottomed out pleasure replaced the pain once again.

“For the love of god Louis, move!”

Louis picked up a steady pace and managed to hit Harry’s prostate with every single thrust. Harry was squirming under him, ready to give up everything and everyone.

“Oh god”, was the only words that still managed to come out of his mouth.

He was already dangerously close to his orgasm and knew that it would destroy him.

“M’ close”, mumbled Louis through gritted teeth, looking as if he would explode any second.

With Louis’ words Harry came on both of their chests and he was sure that he was seeing stars.

He felt Louis coming as well not long after him and collapsing on his chest.

They laid there in happy silence until both were collected enough to remove the condom and clean themselves up at least a little bit.

“Stay with me tonight”, whispered Harry and Louis just nodded happily before they both fell asleep.


	16. Are you all dressed up having nowhere to go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt kinda down yesterday but I'm really happy and content today and really enjoyed writing, I hope you can tell x
> 
> Pls leave kudos x Comment what you think will happen next and what you're hoping will happen next! I love reading your guy's comments xxxx

“Stay with me tonight”, whispered Harry and Louis just nodded happily before they both fell asleep.

Harry woke up with a numb feeling in his right arm, he slowly opened his eyes to figure out why his arm felt so numb and his heart did a little jump when he saw Louis curled up on his chest, looking as angelic as ever.

Harry remembered how happy he had been and how good he had felt during the time Louis and him were together but nothing could ever compare to how he felt right now. The first time they were together, he was aware of the happiness and the love but now, knowing how empty his life was without Lou in it, the feelings were almost painfully present and he couldn’t wipe the dorky smile off his face.

His phone rang on the bedside table and Louis immediately made a grumpy sound, being woken up by the annoying ringtone.

“Lima, what do you want? It’s basically still night”, groaned Harry into the phone.

“Have you seen the response to the new album? It’s mental Harry, Zayn and I cried real tears last night! We were thinking to throw like a little party to celebrate, you know invite friends and family and stuff, what’cha think? I already ringed Niall, he’s is, didn’t get a hold of Louis though, I don’t know where he is. “

Harry turned bright red remembering that their friends still didn’t know that they had been hooking up for a while again now.

“Sounds proper good Li, count me in, just send Louis a text, maybe he’s still asleep.”

He was the worst liar this world had ever seen but oh well.

“Yeah you’re right, alright, see ya tonight at our place, around 7?”

“Yes, sure, see ya then, can’t wait”, said Harry and hung up the phone.

“Soooo, seems like we’re going to a party tonight”, said Harry to the still groggy looking Louis.

“Good morning to you too, why the fuck did Liam feel the need to tell us that this early?”, giggled Louis and Harry’s heart did another jump when he realized that Louis wasn’t running away from him this time.

“I wouldn’t understand the kid, even if I tried, but it sounds like fun so we’re going!”

Harry nudged Louis’ shoulder and the smaller lad erupted in giggles.

“Alright, alright, I’m going, but right now I want some breakfast”, he said with excitement in his eyes.

“Alright.”

What a way to start the day.

Harry and Louis had spent the rest of the morning eating breakfast in bed, giggling through tiny kisses and it had been the happiest morning in a long, long time.

Louis had left around 11 to get home to walk the dogs and then get ready for the party. The two had planned to meet at the party and Harry was honestly already looking forward to seeing Louis again, it was embarrassing how smitten he was.

Liam answered the door after a few seconds already looking a little bit tipsy and very, very giggly.

“Mate!”, he said while looking at Harry with the happiest grin on his face.

“You good there, Li?”, asked Harry, chuckling because Liam looked absolutely adorable with his red cheeks and his happy smile.

“Shamazing, I just love you all so much, come on in, wanna get a drink? Zayn is making his special drink and it is sO gOoD”, said Liam while doing a wiggly thing with his whole body.

Jesus.

“Why not”, said Harry, hoping that he would reach the same level of happiness if he would drink some of Zayn’s special drinks as well.

He spotted Louis standing in the corner with Eleanor and his heart dropped a little. With everything that had happened last night and this morning, Harry had almost forgotten that Louis still very much had a girlfriend. Did that make him the mistress? What was this, a bloody romcom?

Louis glanced up and smiled at Harry with such genuinity in his eyes that Harry let his negative thoughts pass. He was here to have fun after all.

He saw that Zayn and Liam had hung up a huge banner with the words “On the road again” which was the title of their new album, named after their last tour together as a band.

Liam and an equally tipsy Zayn appeared with his drink and Zayn took a look at the banner as well.

“Insane, right? Never thought that we would be doing that again and that the response to it would be that huge, I’m so HAPPY”, said or better shouted a happy Zayn and Harry had no choice but to laugh with him and Liam because yes this was a time to be happy.

Niall and Louis came over and the five toasted to their new album with five of Zayn’s special drinks. They were in for a wild night, Harry was sure.

He had been right, one hour later all five of them were absolutely smashed.

Niall and Julia were singing Irish songs while dancing on the table and everyone around them cheered for them, what a sight.

Liam and Zayn were making out on the couch in the corner and it looked as if Liam was ready to take Zayn then and there. God forbid.

Harry and Louis were currently doing even more shots with Ed who was just as tipsy as them.

“You guys, I am so happy, to be here, to be with the two of you, you were always my favorites but don’t tell anyone”, giggled Ed and pulled Harry and Louis into a tight hug. Harry’s face came dangerously close to Louis’ and he saw the slight smirk on Louis’ intoxicated face.

Before he knew what he was doing, Harry took Louis’ hand and pulled him to the bathroom.

They started making out and Harry kept giggling against Louis’ gorgeous lips.

“You taste like vodka”, said Harry with a dopey smile on his face, “but I loOoOve it.”

“I love your lips even more”, assured him Louis and connected their lips again.

Harry was about to make his way under Louis’ shirt when he heard something, or better someone.

He opened his eyes and in the door stood Eleanor with a shocked expression on her face.

She didn’t even look angry, or sad, just shocked and Harry’s heart fell. He had been aware of the fact that Eleanor was Louis’ girlfriend the whole time they had been hooking up but seeing her stand there with that expression on her face made him realize what he had done. And for a second he hated himself.

Louis had opened his eyes as well, gaping at Eleanor. Harry was seconds from urging Louis to say something when he saw a tear making her way down Eleanor’s cheek, making him feel even worse, if even possible.

Eleanor didn’t wait for one of them to say anything, she just turned around and left the room. Louis and Harry stood there for another second without saying anything to each other, just staring at the door Eleanor had just left through.

“I need to go and talk to her”, said Louis without looking at Harry and with that he was out of the door.

Harry’s heart was shattered on the floor into a million pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, just to make that clear, I do not encourage cheating in any form, so stay loyal my kiddos x 
> 
> Sorry for the cliffhanger BUT I already have the next chapter planned out so stay tuned hihi x


	17. Do you know who you are?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hi, hello, how are you today?
> 
> I really really really love this chapter and felt all giddy and emotional when I wrote it, I hope you love it as much as I do!
> 
> Pls leave kudos xxx Let me know in the comments below what you liked about the chapter and what you hope will happen next because we're not done yet :)

Harry’s heart was shattered on the floor into a million pieces.

“Harry, mate, are you alright?”, asked Niall with a concerned look on his face. Was he? Was he really?

“No, m’ not”, sighed Harry with his face in his hands, he really wasn’t.

“What the fuck happened? I just saw El run out of the door, crying, and Louis was running after her.”

“Uhm, I don’t know if it’s my place to tell you”, mumbled Harry with his heart still shattered into a million pieces.

“What the fuck happened? Harry, talk to me, what happened here?”

“I”, started Harry but he couldn’t say much more before he erupted into sobs.

Zayn and Liam came rushing into the bathroom were he and Niall were sat on the floor with him crying into Niall’s shoulder.

“Louis and I, we”, started Harry again when Zayn started petting his head.

“We know.”

“What do you mean “you know”? How on earth”, asked Harry with a defeated voice.

“We figured it out last time as well to be fair, you guys are horrible when it comes to hiding your feelings, we were kinda waiting for it anyways”, said Zayn with a small smile on his face.

“We’re just a bit sad that you guys didn't tell us. Again”, said Niall and Harry felt a bit of guilt rush through him.

“I’m so sorry, it’s just I didn’t know what it was and Louis kept ignoring me and you know Eleanor. It’s a mess. But it’s over now anyway I guess, he chose her, didn’t he”, sighed Harry and the tears threatened to come back.

“Hey Haz, don’t cry, you don’t know that for sure”, reassured him Liam while nudging his shoulder.

“I don’t think that I can do this tour when I have to look at the two of them every day. It would have been hard anyways but now, with everything that happened. I don’t think that I can do it. I should’ve never went back there with him. Not that I could ever get over him completely, he really is my person, but I feel like I’ve just made everything worse.”

“Whatever the two of you decide, we’ve got your back”, said Niall and Liam and Zayn nodded along.

“He just needs time”, said Liam and Harry knew that he was right, even though it would suck to wait.

“What if he chooses her after he had time to think?”

“We’ll deal with that when it’s here, now you need to get home, you’re wasted”, chuckled Niall. He was right. There was nothing Harry could do right now. 

It’s been 4 days, 4 days and 3 hours to be exact, since Louis had ran after Eleanor and left Harry behind. And to say that Harry wasn’t dealing with it well was an understatement. He was a mess, he hadn’t showered in days, he hadn’t eaten properly and he had ignored every single call from his friends and his mum. It was bad. After leaving Louis behind because of the Hiatus level bad.

He knew that he couldn’t keep going like that and decided to at least take a shower and maybe go for a walk since he hadn’t breathed fresh air in what felt like ages.

He had put his damp hair into a beanie and was walking through rainy London without a direction. Kinda symbolic because he felt like his life didn’t have a direction either.

The more he thought about it, the more depressed he felt, he was once again questioning the purpose of his life and he knew damn well that this wasn’t healthy. When he felt the tears streaming down his face he saw a figure in the distance. Who the hell would go out in that rain, besides him obviously? His sight was clouded because he was crying but he could clearly see that the person approaching him was running. Who the fuck was exercising in this weather?

He had to admit one thing, the person had a remarkable speed because they were approaching really fast. When the person was approximately 20 feet away, Harry clenched his eyes to see more and his heart did a little jump.

Running towards him was Louis in soaking wet clothes.

“HARRY”, shouted Louis through the rain.

“LOUIS, WHAT THE FUCK”, shouted Harry right back at him.

“I went to your place and you weren’t there so I just kept running around the neighborhood, hoping that you had just gone out for a walk, oh god, I can’t breathe”, panted Louis with his hands on his knees.

“Louis, again, WHAT THE FUCK”, shouted Harry almost.

“Oh right, I need to talk to you!”

“So?”, asked Harry and his heart almost jumped out of his chest.

“I am so sorry, so sorry for running away from you, leaving you behind in that bathroom. I am sorry for keeping you in the dark. I am sorry for running from you every time we shared a moment just because I was scared. I am sorry that I got with Eleanor after we broke up, fully aware that it would drive you insane. I am sorry that I didn’t fight for you more when Syco announced the Hiatus. I am sorry that I never reached out over the last five years. I am just so sorry and I guess what I am trying to say is that I love you, always have, always will, it’s you Harry, it had always been you”, ended Louis his monologue and Harry was now full on crying again.

“You asshole, I thought that I had lost you, again, it would have killed me, you can’t even picture how much I love you, you bloody idiot”, half cried, half giggled Harry.

“This time, nothing will come between you and I. You’re stuck with me”, assured Louis with his forehead against Harry’s.

“I fucking hope so.”

And there they stood, in the rain, kissing, and Harry had never been happier.

All they did that night was kiss and whisper sweet I love you’s to each other and Harry knew that this is how he wanted the rest of his life to be like. With Louis.

They woke up and it took Harry a second to realize where he was and what had happened the night before. A grin broke out on his face when he remembered that Louis had chosen him, chose to love him.

He looked at the beautiful boy besides him and felt a rush of gratefulness run through his body. It all had fallen into pieces.

Louis opened one groggy eye but smiled at him with a happy expression on his face.

“Morning sunshine, slept well?”

“Like a baby, I always do next to you, it’s ridiculous”, said Harry with a giggle and Louis giggled with him.

“You’re such a sap, Styles.”

They were cuddled up on the couch when Harry remembered something.

“Wait, what happened between you and Eleanor after you ran after her at the party?”, asked Harry while nervously fidgeting with his fingers.

“Uhm, at first we kinda just stared at each other and none of us said a thing but then she just asked me if I loved you and I said yes, I didn’t even had to think about it, I just knew and I think she did too. She said that she saw it in my eyes when I was looking at you, always did, back then and now. I think she was sad but she said that she wants me to be happy and that she thinks that I can be only happy when I am with you, so we basically have her blessing. She said that she needed time but would like to remain friends with both of us once she kinda got over the initial hurt”, explained Louis and Harry felt a rush of gratitude for Eleanor who he had treated so badly over the years.

“Lou, could you give me El’s phone number?”

Louis looked rather confused but gave him the number nevertheless.

Harry typed a quick message to Eleanor without showing it to Louis. That was his business and he wanted to make things right. 

Thank you for everything, I regret all the things I did that hurt you

but the thing I regret the most is that I never treated you the way you deserved it just because I was insecure.

You’re a kind and bright person, please never change.

H. x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make one thing clear, I don't think that it is healthy to seek life purpose within a person, you have to love learn to love yourself first. THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. 
> 
> And also, I wanted a good ending for Eleanor since I don't appreciate the hatred she gets, remember to be nice x


	18. Just stop your crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning people, sorry that I didn't upload yesterday but I had a pampering day and then passed out around 9 PM bcos I am a grandma xx
> 
> I studied in Scotland for a while and absolutely fell in love with the place so I thought it was only right to include it in the story x 
> 
> Same goes for Home, it had always been my favorite song by One Direction so obviously it had to make an appearance as well hehe, what's you favorite song? Let me know in the comments down below x 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

It had been one week since Harry and Louis had confessed their love in the rain. One week filled with love and pure happiness. Harry was on cloud nine.

They had started rehearsals for tour and the whole group was the happiest they had been in a long time. They usually met up at one of their places after the rehearsals to hang out some more with Julia and sometimes other friends and family. It felt like an even happier version of 2012.

“Louis, have you got everything?”, shouted Harry from the top of the stairs, dragging his massive suitcase down the stairs.

“Don’t get mad, I’m not quite done yet”, said Louis with a mischievous expression on his face.

“Are you kidding Lou, we’re leaving for tour in 15 minutes and you’re not done packing yet, oh god”, exclaimed Harry dramatically and Louis just giggled.

“But you loOoOve meee”, chanted Louis and oh boy was he right. 

One day later they were all sat in the tour bus, playing cards while listening to some music. They were somewhere between London and Glasgow, where they would kick off their tour. Harry was buzzing, he had always loved Scotland, there was something magical about the people and the nature that he couldn’t put into words.

“I can’t fucking wait guys, I haven’t really been performing since OTRA”, said Louis and Harry smiled at him reassuringly because he know that Louis had always been a bit insecure.

“You’re gonna smash it, you were always the heart and the soul of every show”, said Harry and he heard Niall making gagging noises next to him.

“Sappier than ever Haz”, giggled Niall, “but I’m fucking happy that you two worked your shit out.”

“Fucking hell, me too”, said Louis with a beaming smile.

Harry’s heart was almost jumping out of his chest, the thick curtain was the only thing that separated them from the massive crowd. Could he still chicken out? Just when he was ready to completely lose it, he felt Louis take his hand and he calmed down immediately, nothing bad could happen to him as long as Louis was there, it had always been like that.

They were 3 songs in and the crowd was absolutely roaring. Their crowds had always been insane but what was happening in this stadium in Glasgow was an absolute joke. He had never seen so many people dance and sing their hearts out without a care in the world, he saw huge smiles, tears, people kissing, it was magical. He knew that he would never stop doing that ever again, they would have to drag him off stage when he was old and wrinkly to get him to stop.

And the best part was that Louis was right there besides him. He knew that there were technically restrictions to how and when he interacted with Louis but he just couldn’t help it. He kept sending beaming smiles over to Louis and had to touch him every time he walked past him, how could he not when Louis was there looking like the fittest thing he had ever seen?

Tonight they decided to end the show with Home, kind of as a symbol that the fans and the stage were their home and that they would always come back to this place when they felt lost. Home had always been Harry’s favorite and knowing that Louis wrote it for him made it even more special. They all sat in different corners of the stage to create a calm atmosphere when Liam started with the first notes. Once again, Harry couldn’t help but stare at Louis from across the stage and smile at him so widely that his cheeks burnt like a bitch. He couldn’t look away when he started singing himself.

I was stumbling

Looking in the dark, with an empty heart

But you say, you feel the same

Could we ever be enough?

Baby, we could be enough

That was exactly how Harry felt, he had been lost over the past 5 years, completely stumbling in the dark while trying to find himself, and what he had found out was that he was his best when he was with Louis. He loved many things about Louis but the thing he loved the most was who he was when he was with Louis. And that feeling would never change, he was certain of that.

The song ended and Harry hadn’t taken his eyes off of Louis for the whole time.

They were back in the tour bus and were all still buzzing from the high that came with playing stadiums.

“Fucking yes”, shouted Niall and everyone else erupted into cheers and laughter as well.

“What a fucking night”, said Liam, “hey wanna check Twitter, I bet they’re already going insane.”

Everyone nodded excitedly. They all gathered behind Liam’s laptop to check Twitter.

Harry felt shivers run down his spine and Louis gasped lowly besides him.

Once again Twitter was almost completely filled with pictures of him and Louis, the two of them staring at each other, Harry having his hand on Louis’ back, Harry singing Home to Louis.

Twitter had turned into a Larry Stylinson shrine and Harry was well aware what that meant.

The next morning around 9, Harry’s and Louis’ phones rang and Harry knew that shit was about to go down.

“You’re coming down to London, you and Tomlinson, immediately. We scheduled a press conference in which you will deny this bullshit once and for all and if I ever see you look at Tomlinson again on stage I swear to god, this band will be a thing of the past again, I did it once, I’ll do it again”, said Simon and hung up,

Harry felt the tears building in his eyes and Louis looked awfully pale as well.

“We don’t have a choice, do we?”, said Louis with a sad expression on his face, “if we wanna keep doing this we gotta deny it, I’m not ready to lose One Direction again.”

Harry didn’t answer him. How could anyone be so cruel? Didn’t they see how happy him and Louis were? That love was love and that it didn’t matter between whom it happened? Real love was rare and they had found it but yet people couldn’t be happy for them.

Harry felt the tears stream down his face and he silently looked at a defeated Louis. Would it always be like that? Would it ever stop? Would they ever be able to come out? 

A few hours later they arrived in London, Liam, Zayn and Niall were already on their way to Edinburgh where the next show would be, all three of them beyond concerned after having seen Harry and Louis’ misery this morning.

“There you are, come with me, it’s not gonna take longer than five minutes, you’re gonna do the talking Tomlinson, I don’t trust Styles here”, said Simon and shoved them towards a huge black door.

They made their way onto the stage, with 2 ft. distance between them obviously, and sat down.

Ah shit, here we go again.

At first the interviewers just stared at them when finally one took the floor.

“Are the two of you in any kind of romantic relationship?”

Harry glanced over at Louis who was supposed to speak but was silent as a mouse. He had a troubled look on his face and was white as a sheet.

When Louis hadn’t said anything after approximately half a minute Harry took the mic.

Fuck this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now you know why the fic is called The Press Conference. I had the idea like a year ago when I went on a run and daydreamed about Larry so what will happen in the next chapter is the product of a 30 minute run / Larry daydream haha x 
> 
> SIDE NOTE: THE 2 FT. DISTANCE WAS AN INNUENDO TO THE CURRENT CORONA CRISIS, REMEMBER TO KEEP AT LEAST 2 FT. DISTANCE BETWEEN YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE AT ALL TIMES WHEN YOU NEED TO RUN ERRANDS AND IF POSSIBLE JUST STAY AT HOME ALTOGETHER. STAY SAFE AND HEALTHY X


	19. Welcome to the final show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my days, I don't know if I'm crying while writing this because I'm listening to If I could fly on repeat or if it's really as good as I think lmao x 
> 
> Pls leave kudos and comments x

Fuck this.

Harry had had enough. 10 years, 10 fucking years. It had been too long.

“We’re live right?”, asked Harry to make sure because he was about to do something that he thought he would never ever get to do.

He was about to be just himself.

“Hello, my name is Harry Edward Styles, for those who don’t know me. I’m one fifth of One Direction, so is Louis next to me. Excuse me, Louis William Tomlinson, for those who don’t know him. We just ended our five year Hiatus and I have to admit the last five years have been the darkest of my life, without a doubt. After being in a band like One Direction it feels surreal to lead a somewhat normal life again, going from playing stadiums to running errands, sleeping in without having anything to do, I didn’t know how to deal with it. So it’s obvious that I am over the moon that the band is back together, even though I wasn’t at first to be honest”, he heard Louis chuckle next to him. He didn’t want to look at Louis though, he was too afraid that he would actually change his mind and would not go through with it.

“As you can imagine I missed the stage, our fans, the high that comes with writing a new song and exploring the whole world but that’s all superficial compared to the thing that I missed more than anything, that I missed more than I could ever put into words.”

Harry let out a breath.

“Louis here next to me is what I could only describe as a beautiful soul, he is kind, he is caring, he is funny, he is beautiful and above all he radiates happiness. When he enters the room, it lights up and when he leaves, he leaves behind darkness. I was 16 years old when I met Louis for the first time.We met and I felt things I had never felt in my life before. I didn’t know what it was, I was scared, I didn’t want to tell anyone. But he made everything so easy, he made falling in love with him easy. I knew that he was scared as well but my happiness was always his first priority and I don’t know if any of you ever experienced anything like that, but for me that is what contentment feels like. Right from the start, everyone told us that we would never last, that our love would never last, that we were too young. And when you hear the same thing over and over and over again, trust me, you start to believe it too, even though you know that it is not true. But Louis was there, every day, to remind me how much he loved me. Everyone around us saw it, our friends, our families, even our fans picked up on it. But even though everyone could tell how happy we were, they were still against it, still wanted to suppress the one thing that made us happy. They started taking more drastic measures, each week brought a new obstacle and the obstacles kept getting higher and higher and we were so, so tired of climbing. After five years they still hadn’t broken us but we were fragile. They knew that it would only take one more push and our glasshouse would break. Has no one ever wondered why we went on Hiatus out of the sudden? Nothing was ever optional for us, everything we ever did was decided by other people. Never us.Even this reunion, they tell to jump and we have no choice but to ask how high. That is how this business works and I can feel how it once again slowly starts to break me, us. Yes, there is an us. Louis and me. Me and Louis. I have loved him since we were 16 and 18 years old and for ten years I was forced to hide that, forced to hide who I really was. I love him, I am in love with him. Everything about him. And there is nothing that anyone could ever do to stop me from doing just that. I hope that answers your question whether we’re in any kind of romantic relationship”, said Harry and sat back down.

What followed was dead silent.


	20. Epilogue

**5 years later**

Harry, London (September 2025)

It had been five sears since Harry had announced to the world that him and Louis were in love which each other and looking back at it, it had probably been the best but also the most terrifying moment in his life.

And thank fuck that he did it.

They used their savings to get their legal independence from Syco and signed with Capital Records. Harry actually crashed with their new manager Jeff on a regular basis when him and Louis were fighting over who didn’t do the dishes.

Louis and him were happier than ever, apart from the dishes issue obviously, so happy that Harry even thought about proposing once or twice.

That’s why he sent the following message to three different numbers.

Hey, can you come over? H. x

Liam, Zayn and Niall all arrived within the next 20 minutes and Harry was anxiously biting his nails, he was basically shitting himself. Already.

“Hey Haz, you good, why did you call us here?”, asked Niall with a confused look on his face.

Harry had a massive grin on his face, he probably looked like a proper lunatic.

“So guys, I was thinking.”

“Shocker”, giggled Zayn and Harry pouted.

“I’m gonna ignore that, thank you very much, so as I said, I was thinking, since you, Liam and Zayn, are already married and you and Julia are engaged, Niall, there is only one logical thing that should come next”, said Harry hoping that his friends would get the hint.

A massive smile spread on their faces and Niall jumped into Harry’s arms.

“You little fucker, I was waiting for one of you to come up with the topic, tell us your plans, fucking yes”, screamed Niall in his face.

“I haven’t planned anything too fancy, it just needs to be that one specific spot”, said Harry and smiled contently.

Two days later he found himself standing at the same corner where he had confessed his feelings for Louis while standing in the rain five years ago.

He had always felt some sort of magic connection to the place, he even came here every now and then to feel the intensity of his love for Louis.

He had called Louis, making it sound like he was hurt and in some sort of emergency, he actually felt lowkey bad for lying.

A few minutes later he could see Louis approach in his car at an insane speed and he couldn’t wipe the dumb grin off his face.

“Harry, darling, what is wrong? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”, asked Louis while checking every last inch of Harry to make sure there weren’t any bruises.

“Louis, calm down, okay? I’m not hurt”, said Harry and he could feel the nervousness creep in.

“What do you mean, why did you call me here then? Where the fuck are we even?”, said Louis and Harry’s heart dropped for a second, he hadn’t considered that Louis had forgotten the place that felt so special to him.

“Oh wait, I know where we are, what are we doing here, Haz? Oh god, did I forget some sort of anniversary? I’m so sorry baby, I promise I’ll make it up to you”, said Louis and wiggled his eyebrows.

Harry let out a barked laugh but shook his head.

“Calm down Lou, you didn’t forget anything. Would you just stand here? And listen? Alright?” 

Louis nodded, looking a little dumbfounded.

“Louis William Tomlinson, I remember the last time we were stood here together five years ago. It feels like it was yesterday but on the other hand it feels like we’ve spent an eternity together ever since. That day when you told me that you loved me, you gave me the biggest gift I could’ve ever asked for, a gift that keeps on giving, every day. You give me love and admiration, every day. You make me feel the happiest I could ever be, every day. And I love you, more and more every day. I don’t think that anyone had as many ups and downs and obstacles as we did, but I wouldn’t want to change a single thing, because they all brought us where we are today. Together. Last time we stood here I told you that you couldn’t even picture how much I loved you and also that you were a bloody idiot. I still firmly believe in both of these things”, said Harry and they both giggled.

“I also told you that I couldn’t lose you ever again, and in that as well, I still believe firmly. I could not imagine my life without you and I don’t want to. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to make memories, I want to see the world and I want to love you until the day that I die. 

That’s why I want to ask you, said Harry and got down on one knee.

Louis William Tomlinson, will you marry me?” 

For a second there was silence but then a huge smile erupted on Louis’ face.

“Yes, you bloody idiot.” 

**The end**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, good morning every (in Central Europe, good whatever to everyone else) x
> 
> Here it is, the final chapter, I'm actually kinda sad that the story is over, dramatic. 
> 
> As I said this was the first fan fiction I've ever written and I had so much fun that it definitely won't be my last, I already have some exciting ideas for new stories and I can't wait to share them with you x 
> 
> If you liked my story please leave kudos and recommend it to your friends x 
> 
> Lots and lots of love, Fiona x
> 
> PS: I'm writing a new fit called "You were university for me"


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